goodbye to the protege

i think i wrote awhile back about the explosion of my 1993 protege. it was a horrific scene that stirs up far too many emotions for me to go into right now. the story i want to tell at this moment is concering the grand theft auto that has occurred in my life. you see after the engine blew up i parked the mazda at my mechanic’s lot and started calling charities to donate the non-moving hunk of metal to. i finally found one and had gone through the appropriate paper work to give them the vehicle but one obsticle remained…i needed to meet the two truck at the protege and point it out to them (for me this was going to be a very judas-like moment – i would point to the protege and says “there’s the car sir” only to have my loyal red friend say back “you betray me with a kiss?”).

i couldn’t do this for a week because i was going to be on a mission trip to fort worth, texas – a great trip by the way. when i got back i drove past the parking lot where the protege was supposed to be. i looked over fondly at the lot and suddenly realized that the car wasn’t there. it was late so i waited to call my mechanic until the next day. when i called him i was told that a tow truck had come and picked it up. he just figured it was the charty that had come to pick it up because surely no idiot would ever try to steal it. lessons number 1, never underestimate the stupidity of people – they will steal anything even if it is worthless.

so i called the charity to see if maybe they had picked it up before i got back. nope they hadn’t pick it up yet – they were waiting on me to get back. i called the sheriff and police offices to see if maybe they had towed it. nope, they hadn’t but they did give me four wrecking services to call just in case. i called these services and none of them had move my motionless buddy. so i called the sheriff’s department back and asked what to do. this is when i was told to file a stolen vehicle report.

it took me about an hour and a half to file the report. it wouldn’t have been that long if i hadn’t of made one simple statement. i told the sheriff’s deputy that there was really no need for them to search for the vehicle because i didn’t want it back. i had smiled and laughed the entire time he was taking the report and apparently this statement set off his law enforcement radar. you see people who have had their vehicles stolen are supposed to be sad. i wasn’t and thus this didn’t register right. the sheriff’s deputy apparently thought i was trying to pull insurance fruad or some other scam. i had to explain the story three times of the car breaking down and me trying to donate it to a charity before he was okay with it. lesson number 2, it’s always best to look sad when reporting a stolen vehicle.

it’s hard to believe but someone apparently has stolen my non-working car. this makes no sense to me. why commit “grand theft auto” on my peace of junk. in fact, since i know the value of the car is less than $500 i’m not even sure it is “grand theft auto” – it’s probably “small misdemeanor auto” or something like that. if the theif had simply asked for the car i would have given it to him/her.

to end the whole thing i had to call and cancel the insurance on the protege because there is no need to insure a car that i no longer have. i called my company. the second i told them it had been stolen they told me i had to file a claim. i told them i didn’t have comprehensive on the car, or collison for that matter, because the car was basically worthless. they said that didn’t matter i would have to still file a claim for “information purposes only” before i could cancel my insurance on it. so i talked to the insurance adjuster and explained the story. it would appear to me that insurance adjusters don’t have a sense of humor because she definately didn’t like the fact that i said i was glad that the car had been stolen because it made a great story. i had to explain the story three more times of the motor blowing up and trying to donate the car before she was satisified that no insurance fruad had taken place. lesson number three, talk to insurance adjusters the same way you do law enforcement officers.

anyways, i sure do hope that my broken down friend has a good home – albeit a good criminal home – because it was a very good vehecile for pam and me.

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