a few weeks ago i was reading a blog and ran across a description of “totzilla“, the world’s largest natural tater-tot. in the description i found out that “totzilla” was being sold on ebay. i may be a cheap guy but i still know an opportunity when i see one. so i thought i would go and see how much “totzilla” was selling for. when i reached ebay the monster tot was only selling for $3. at that price i had to get this gigantic tot. of course, i wanted to see how much shipping would be before i bought thing – i mean transporting a giant tot can’t be cheap. it was going to cost $15 to ship “totzilla” in dry ice. with shipping in mind i figured i could spend about $25 total. i guesstimated that i could get at least $25 worth of stories and jokes out of possessing the world’s largest tater-tot. so i bid a maximum bid of $10 on the supreme tot. for one day i was the lead bidder on “totzilla”. that day was a glorious days, it’s a day that i will remember always. unfortunately the dream wasn’t meant to last. i was outbid. the problem was that i determined that i could only get $25 worth of enjoyment out of “totzilla” so i had to stick with my bid. in the end his supreme tot-greatness went for $12.01 – a price that was simply too high for my blood.
still i miss the prestige and pride that i might have had from being the owner of the largest natural tater-tot in the world.
As the seller of totzilla, I can tell you that no longer having that giant lump of fried processed potato goodness has left a hole in my life. A Totzilla-shaped hole.