they’re vicious

yesterday as i went to my front door to enter my home i was greeted with a package from terminix. the package was information concerning the incomplete termite inspection they had done on my house earlier in the day while i wasn’t home. two things were funny about this:

1. i didn’t order a termite inspection – it was my neighbors across the street who did. terminix had the right address they just inspected the wrong house. they’re loss, my gain (because the part they inspected was termite free).
2. they wrote down on their inspection form that they were scared of my dogs and therefore did not inspect the back of the house. let me say that again – they were scared of my dogs – the two killer basset hounds. this makes perfect sense because basset hounds have a long history of being vicious, killing machines. i believe in the official list of the world’s scariest dogs basset hounds are second (behind pit bulls but ahead of rottweilers and and chows). most people don’t know this but bassets save their most dangerous attacks for termite killers. it’s a little known fact that bassets and termites living in a symbiotic relationship. bassets protect the termites from those who would spray insecticides on them and the termites kill all the trees around where basset hounds live (bassets have a strange paranoid fear that all the trees in the world are out to get them – this is why in an act to puts trees in their place bassets constantly pee on trees and chew on sticks). thankfully the terminix people know of this symbiotic relationship and were smart enough to stay away from the killer basset hounds in my back yard.

the dogs being scrary would actually make sense if they had been hidden within the house. if you can’t see my dogs they sound terrifying. roux has a deep bass bark that sounds like he is a 100 pound mauler. when i’m out of town it’s nice to know that bark is inside my house with my family. of course, once anyone sees my two clowns all fear dissipates.