bird’s of a feather

sunday morning bright and early i was driving to church to get ready for the our normal sunday services. i took my usual route, which brings me to the stop of confederate and tiger bend. i had to stay there for a little while because surprisingly the traffic was actually bad at 7:20 a.m. while i was waiting there i saw a blur out of the corner of my right eye. before i could see what the movement of color was i heard a loud, metalic boink and realized that the front passenger side door of the mazda had just been hit by something about the size of a baseball. i pulled up my emergency brake and bent over the center console to see what had hit my car. on the side of the road beside my protege i saw an adult dove drunk from the impact of it’s flight into my auto. it stood there dazed and wobblely but apparently not permanently harmed from the incident.

the weird thing is that he hit my bright red door, not the window. i’ve seen birds fly into windows before. their little brains can’t comprehend that there might be something hard in the clear space of a window frame. i’ve also seen birds fly into moving cars, mistakenly thinking that the space were they were flying would remain empty of other objects. this bird however flew into the door of my bright, red, stopped car. there’s no way it could have thought there was nothing there and i didn’t drive into it. i looked all around and i couldn’t find anything that might have been chasing the bird and caused it to mistakenly fly into a stopped vehicle. so the only theories i can come up with for this happening are:

1. this dove was a weird genetic cross between a bull and a dove. this would result in a dove that likes to ram it�s head into things and is enraged by the color red. thus charging my car.

2. this dove was blind. it probably flew around with a small cane trying to detect what was in front of it. it merely got going to fast and couldn�t stop when it found my vehicle with it’s cane.

3. this dove hates foreign cars. it’s probably been charging into every mazda, honda, and toyota it can find.

4. the dove made some bad financial decisions on wall street, lost everything on wall street, and was trying to end it’s life. a permanent solution to very temporary problems. not a good choice, but then again neither is speeding when you are blind.

5. this dove is just plain stupid and will probably be cat food before the week is finished.

unfortunately i didn’t think to stop and do tests on the punch drunk bird. if i had i probably could have narrowed these theories down to the correct one.

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