i’ve lived a decent amount of time on this earth and until tonight i had never seen a hummingbird moth. i was on the back porch cooking some hamburgers and i saw the things zoom in on our flowering bushes. i thought it was a hummingbird at first and tried to get a closer look. it was dark outside so it was hard to see what these things were. when i figured out that they weren’t hummingbirds i got a little freaked out. i thought they might be some weird mutant strain of bees and everyone knows that weird mutant strains of bees absolutely hate people who are cooking beef (because cows are the natural symbiotic friends of weird mutant strains of bees). not wanting to be attacked as a beef cooker i grabbed my outdoor cooking tools and prepared to do battle if need be with the weird mutant bees.
standing there with my spatula in hand i waited. yet they didn’t attack and this scared me even more than before. weird mutant strains of bees are notorious for their devious attack strategies. i thought maybe the bees had called for their weird mutant friends to flank me and attack from behind. franticly i turned back and forth looking for bees everywhere. still there was no attack.
i decided to take a closer look at this weird strain of mutant bees and determine what danger i was facing. it was at this point that i saw that one of the weird mutant bees had a 6 inch long snout. relief flooded my body because everyone knows that weird mutant strains of bees never have 6 inch long snouts. feeling safe i finally figured out that my little visitor was some type of strange moth. i quickly went inside to look for information regarding the long snout wielding moth on the source that i always go to for useless information … the internet. after a few minutes of web surfing i discovered that my guest was a hummingbird moth and that they don’t attack people who cook beef. i was safe.
i feel better now.