southern on the roof

a view from above

snow season is about to enter central wisconsin and leaf falling season has left. today this meant that i was going to seize our afternoon warm spell (it warmed up to 30º this afternoon) to blow all the pine straw off of our home’s roof. that way the straw wouldn’t be there to possibly cause problems later in winter when there will be two-three feet of snow sitting on top of our house. it’s a pretty quick job, only about 15 minutes, and since it was pretty warm i decided that i didn’t really need a coat on over my sweatshirt. this would have been right if it had not been for the ladder falling over when i was finishing the job.

our house is a little tall and i am old enough now to where my bones get brittle in the cold weather. therefore, i thought that jumping off the roof was out of the question. thankfully in my wisdom i had earlier convinced pam to have two kids just for such instances (don’t ask me why i didn’t think of sending them on the roof in the first place). so i began to shout for the boys to come and help their wise father. the problem with having a tall house is that the family room is invariably always on the bottom floor (aka the former basement). this means that sound doesn’t travel so well to the family room. thus my shouting didn’t do any good. no problem, because i had my cell phone in my pocket (thus the above photo). i called the house.

i’m not sure why but for some reason GOD has decided to make 11 & 14 year olds deaf. HE is wise so i am sure there is a good reason for making them deaf. i’m just not smart enough to figure it out (it actually seems like it would have been a better idea to have made them mute – but this is probably why GOD doesn’t ask me for advice). the result of my kid’s deafness was that while i could clearly hear the phone ringing within the house yet my adolescent boys where not able to hear it. at this time i decided to take the above photo so that pam and the boys would know how i had died of exposure. the photo would also serve two other purposes 1) proof for life insurance – thus taking care of pam, and 2) extreme guilt for my deaf kids.

i called three times with no answer.

while i was calling our home phone number a breeze began to develop. even without a jacket 30º is really not that cold. however 30º with a strong breeze IS QUITE COLD. i stood on the roof facing the full force of the breeze which was strong enough to freeze me but not strong enough to have swept all the pine straw off the roof in the first place, which would have saved me from ever having entered into this situation.

on my fourth call the phone was finally answered, the ladder was finally lifted up, and i decided not to shout at my kids because i realized they wouldn’t hear it anyway.

10 Replies to “southern on the roof”

  1. MY grandkids aren’t deaf, they are paying you back for a time in Dothan. One morning I left for work and realized I had left my keys on the kitchen counter. I must have beat on the front door and yelled at you and Ken for 20 minutes before y’all heard me.

    No cell phones back then,


  2. I will attest to the fact that you and Ken had selective hearing loss, so genetics are definitely to blame for your problem today.

  3. The boys couldn’t hear the phone because the cats were crying so loudly for Pam! Glad you didn’t jump. Thanks for a good laugh!

  4. Thanks for you blog and this highly amusing post. I will try to remember it when I am being ignored by my 2 little girls! They are a lot younger than your boys but are already developing a marvellous art of selective hearing, eg they don’t! But I will learn from your calm way of dealing with it!!!

    (I know Pam via the PW Forum just in case you were wondering who on earth I am.)

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