proud to be a 30%er

i don’t entirely remember how but someone introduced me to the twitter feed of my friend joe causey’s pastor, pete wilson. from twitter i went to his blog which turned out to be a fun read because it has a great variety of depth, randomness, humor, and bragging about his family. this is a combination that i enjoy.

a couple of days ago wilson posted the following on his twitter feed:

i’m not sure where he read this but i have unfortunately heard similar stats. on top of this pamela has also recently been a part of a discussion with a group of pastors’ wives concerning whether or not pastors and their spouses can be friends with church members. unfortunately the majority of the wives in that group believe that pastors and their spouses shouldn’t be friends with church members because they think that ministers and their spouses are supposed to maintain “professional distance” from their church members (just in case you are wondering both pam and i hold the opposite view). i know that wilson’s tweet and pam’s discussion are not about the exact same thing but i think the core issue is the same – many ministers don’t know how to have real relationships and therefore some live very lonely lives.

this kills me for two reasons:

  1. as a proud 30%er who can name lots of friends that i trust very deeply i hurt for the many ministers who for some reason equate being on mission with GOD with requiring loneliness. while, i do believe that GOD’s call sometimes will lead a believer into difficult situations, i can find very few instances in the bible where the GOD of love has called HIS followers into overwhelming loneliness. it’s just not HIS typical M.O.
  2. since i believe that the core of CHRISTianity is relational (relationship with GOD and others = 1a & 1b greatest commandments) i believe that we fail to disciple our people when we don’t live out and have good strong relationships. therefore, by not having any real friendships i think many ministers are actually failing as shepherds. it’s a sad irony but i believe that many ministers in the name of “professional distance” are actually failing to truly minister because they don’t have any friends.

i love my friends and i am so thankful for them. i am a better person, spouse, father, and minister because of many of my friends. they have taught me many amazing things and GOD continually uses them to encourage me to do the things HE wants. i hope and prayer that more of the 70%ers find such friends, both for themselves and for the churches they shepherd. please GOD send true friends to some of my fellow pastors and give those pastors the wisdom to hold tight to them.

12 Replies to “proud to be a 30%er”

  1. actually I think that although the conversation was skewed against it at first; as it went on, more people piped in and it was about 50-50. Although if you're measuring how loudly those against it were against it…. lolAnyway, I agree. The toughest part of moving up here has been the loneliness of being so far away from all my friends. We are constantly inviting church members and neighbors over to our house, in hopes of making new connections.

  2. I do think this is related to many of the "scandles" involving pastors also. When we first moved to Huntsville we joined our church partially because we could see ourselves being friends with our pastor. We are not close friends with them – just different stages of life – but we are friendly with them. First time I have ever felt that way about my pastor and his wife and I do feel like it has made a big difference in my relationship with God! It has helped me move further away from "my parents' God" and develop my own relationship.

  3. actually I think that although the conversation was skewed against it at first; as it went on, more people piped in and it was about 50-50. Although if you're measuring how loudly those against it were against it…. lolAnyway, I agree. The toughest part of moving up here has been the loneliness of being so far away from all my friends. We are constantly inviting church members and neighbors over to our house, in hopes of making new connec

  4. actually I think that although the conversation was skewed against it at first; as it went on, more people piped in and it was about 50-50. Although if you're measuring how loudly those against it were against it…. lolAnyway, I agree. The toughest part of moving up here has been the loneliness of being so far away from all my friends. We are constantly inviting church members and neighbors over to our house, in hopes of making new connections.

  5. I do think this is related to many of the "scandles" involving pastors also. When we first moved to Huntsville we joined our church partially because we could see ourselves being friends with our pastor. We are not close friends with them – just different stages of life – but we are friendly with them. First time I have ever felt that way about my pastor and his wife and I do feel like it has made a big difference in my relationship with God! It has helped me move further away from "my parents' God" and develop my own relations

  6. I do think this is related to many of the "scandles" involving pastors also. When we first moved to Huntsville we joined our church partially because we could see ourselves being friends with our pastor. We are not close friends with them – just different stages of life – but we are friendly with them. First time I have ever felt that way about my pastor and his wife and I do feel like it has made a big difference in my relationship with God! It has helped me move further away from "my parents' God" and develop my own relationship.

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