It Was A Long Day Today
I am regularly with people when they are in the midst of pain. I’m not sure that I would say that it is a typical part of my normal day, but it is definitely a common part of my week. Most of the time I just bear with it and feel honored that I get to be a part of God bringing comfort to someone who is hurting. I would never say these circumstances are something that I have grown used to, because the pain is always visibly fresh for those going through it and I can feel it with them. Still being with people during their most difficult most is a part of being a minister and it is a role that I am privileged to get to play.
Still I have to say that the most difficult pain for me to be with someone during is the pain of a lost pregnancy. Other circumstances might affect other people more powerfully but there is something about the loss of the baby that you have been hoping for that really gets me. The only time I have ever completely lost it as a minister in the midst of someone’s pain was once with two church members who were going through the delivery of their still born child. I just sat there and sobbed with them.
I feel like fertility issues taint hope and I think that is part of why the pain affects me so strongly. Anything that is able to turn a period of hope into a a period of dred is horrific. I believe that infertility issues do just that. They attempt to destroy the hope that should be involved in the possibility of new life.
I really like some of what Miroslav Volf has written concerning the struggles (including his personal struggle) of infertility. You can read one of his articles here titled “The Gift of Infertility.” He talks about the pain of his familiy’s struggle to have children and how the adoption of his boys didn’t do away with but changed the pain. Without the pain and struggle he wouldn’t have had his boys who he now couldn’t imagine being without. I believe his thought helps to show how God can overcome and transmute the pain of miscarriages & infertility. I love that word transmute because it involves taking something and turning it into something else. It recognizes the real pain but says that God is able to change the nature and substance of that pain into something else. Something good.
Still I would never bring up Volf’s words in the actual moment of the pain because I believe the pain is too raw when you are in the midst of the D & C or the realization of the loss of the baby you had been hoping for. In the moment I am just there to share the pain. No words. Just presence. I think being with them in the midst of their struggle helps but they would have to be the ones who say if it actually does help or not. I believe we can face most things when we know we aren’t alone. Seems like that is a part of the gospel of Christ. Still for some reason sharing the pain of infertility taxes me more than any other pain. If it helps those who are going through the actual loss then whatever it taxes me is worth it. Their struggle is what really matters.
It was a long day today but an ever so much longer day for those whose pain I shared.
Justice & the Image of God
I’m presently reading “The Answer to Our Cry” by Rick McKinley. McKinley is the pastor of Imago Dei church in Portland (a church that I respect greatly) and one of the people who started Advent Conspiracy (an organization that I also respect greatly). I really connect with McKinley’s consistency concerning bringing everything back to the Trinity and the Image of God (Imago Dei).
I just read this quote from McKinley connecting Jesus’ desire for His followers to practice justice based on humans bearing the Image of God.
We don’t simply use labels for those we see on the evening news, however. We use them for the people across the street, down the road, or across town. We label our neighbors who are gay, Muslim, or divorced. We label the neighborhood a few blocks away from us with all the Russian immigrants.
We don’t see people who are made in the image of the God who sets us free to love them, because we separate ourselves from them through our differences. When we do that, we take away their light as image bearers of God and create separation that robs us of the possibility of knowing them.
That is why Jesus confronts injustice not by calling our attention to the greatest offenders of shalom but by calling us to love our neighbor as ourselves. We like the idea that we are made in the image of God, but do we like the idea that our neighbors are too?
Rick McKinley, The Answer to our Cry, p. 115-6.
I love that last line. “We like the idea that we are made in the image of God, but do we like the idea that our neighbors are too?” Very tru e and very challenging.
My Possible
For the past seven years or so I have been a fan of carrying a small bag with me that holds all the things I believe I need to handle whatever I might face during the day. A few friends (and family) have mocked me for my bag, calling it my “man purse”. I don’t care because I like having all this stuff handy and I don’t like my pockets full of stuff.
December brought two changes to my Every Day Carry (EDC) bag.
- Pam gave me a new bag for Christmas. I had been using a bag Adam used when he was in second grade. As you probably know I am cheap.
- I have a new name for my bag. It is my possible. I read “The Revenant” and learned that the mountain men always kept close a small bag, called their possibilities bag or possible, to keep themselves prepare for all the possible things they might face. My bag is a possible and Eric G is wrong when he calls it a man purse. So there.
Anyhow here are the things that I keep in my possibles bag.
- OXA vintage canvas messenger bag – this is the bag Pam bought me for Christmas. It is a big improvement.
- Asus T100 Tablet/Laptop upgraded to Windows 10 – I love this little tablet/laptop. Powerful enough to do most of what I need done and small enough to be easy to carry around.
- NIV Skinii Bible with extra ribbon bookmarks put in
- Whatever book I am presently reading. At the time of this photo it was an autographed version of Jurgen Moltmann’s work “The Passion for Life“. Yep that’s right it is an autographed copy.
- Leuchtturm Whitelines journal – a journal that allows me to digitize photos of the pages and send them to Dropbox or Evernote.
- Cheapo headphones – I don’t buy expensive headphones because I’ve killed every good pair of headphones I have ever purchased. The cheap ones seem to last for me so I have chosen poorer quality sound that last, rather than better quality sound that I kill and then feel bad about.
- A Tapestry Carabiner & 550 Fire Cord Paracord – that’s right it is paracord that has a fire starter line within it.
- Cheap BIC lighter – to be replaced with a flint & steel in the future because I think it is more fun.
- A Makey Makey Go – Pam bought this for me for Christmas. It allows me to turn almost anything into an input device for a computer. It is quite fun. I’ve used it a few times at Emy J’s when I was bored.
- Mini first aid kit – picked up for free from St. Michael’s hospital with a few bandages, sanitizing wipes, antibiotic cream, and a few over the counter drugs (most importantly BC Powder).
- Twin tip Sharpie markers & BIC Atlantis Pens – the best inexpensive pen there is.
- Logitech Ultrathin Touch Mouse
- Coast G19 LED Inspection Flashlight
- Leatherman Rebar multitool – thanks to my brother.
With this bag in tow I am ready for most possibilities I run up against during my days.