okay just a few minutes ago i was trimming the bushes in front of our house (yes when you get to be an adult you too will get to do such exciting things). apparently the bush i was trimming did not like me cutting on it and decided to release a yet unknown weapon against me. it would appear that bushes have a symbiotic relationship with yellow jackets. i don’t know the specifics but apparently the relationship works something like this – i’ll give you a place to live if you will insanely attack anyone who comes near me with clippers. i’m not sure how long these particular yellow jackets hav lived at these bushes because it has been around a year since i have approached this bush with clippers (though i have walked all around it without a cutting device in my hand and never been attacked – that’s the key – you must have clippers in your hand for the yellow jackets to live up to their part of the bargain). today though i had clippers in my hands and the yellow jackets decided to honor their arrangement and they actually seemed to enjoy keeping the bargain. they attacked me viciously. by the time i realized what was going on i had been stung 5 times around the ankles.
yet this was not the end of the battle because being a former boys-scout i was prepared. i had in my possession a can of wasp and hornet killer and i quickly ran for it (maybe hobbled toward it would be a better description). i came back with my own weapon and attacked both the bush and the yellow jackets. vengeance is mine saith the homeowner! as the yellow jackets squirmed i laughed over the bodies. i of course, ran away like a little girl when one of the remaining yellow jackets flew towards me, but still i laughed.
i’ll update you later on the battles of the bushes if there are any new skirmishes.