man’s best friend

i hate my dog!

i can’t say that enough.

i hate my dog! i hate my dog! i hate my dog! i hate my dog! i hate my dog! i hate my dog! i hate my dog! i hate my dog! i hate my dog! i hate my dog! i hate my dog!

for some reason my dog, whose name is “hero”, has decided that it is fun to escape from the back yard and run around the neighborhood. he’s not suppose to be able to do this because he has tendons in his back right leg which are messed up. he walks fine but running is suppose to be a no-no. well he has recently started finding ways under the gate of the backyard fence. of course, since he can�t run very well it is usual not a problem to catch him. a crippled dog owner typically has the advantage in a dog on man race (i highly recommend crippled animals as pets, it usually makes life much easier). today, i was in front of the family abode shooting air rockets with adam and noah (the air rockets are incredible) and out of the corner of my eye i saw hero escape form the backyard. i started after him thinking that as usual it would be no big deal to catch him. apparently, unbeknownst to me, someone has been slipping drugs to my dog because he didn’t act like his normal maimed self. no! instead of hobbling around hero would run in front of me staying just out of arms reach. i believe i chased him for 3 miles, uphill, both ways, in the snow. it was awful. i swear the dog was laughing at me. if there had been a shotgun in my hands i would have killed “man’s best friend” and left his body there to be eaten by cats and other dog hating animals.

after much sweat and shouting i finally catch the mutt, scold him, and carry him all the way back to the house (i didn’t bring a lease with me). i place him back in the back yard and decide to get some cold ice tea to cool off with. as soon as i get inside that hound begins to whimper and limp around the back yard looking for sympathy from me. sure his leg is find while he’s running from me, but once he is back home it hurts and he wants me to take care of it. i hate my dog!

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