- as mayor of the green circle trail i declare that while running, biking, and walking are free the following fines will be associated with certain things that some participants in these activities tend to do.
- if you are riding a bike and don’t scoot over a safe distance away from runners and walkers then you will be forced to stand against a tree for three walker/runners to pick up your bike and throw it at you. they should aim for your shins but it counts as long as they hit your anywhere on your body.
- if you are running/walking and you leave trash on the green circle trail then your fine is that you will be forced to eat your own trash – without water to drink or appropriate condiments.
- if your dog defecates while you are walking on the green circle and you fail to pick it up then your fine is that you will have to wash your hair with your dog’s poop.
- if a runner/walker/biker has to dodge your dog (leashed or unleashed) because you fail to move your dog over to your side of the trail then your fine is 6 kicks to the shin. if your shins are not bleeding by the end of this kicking then you will be forced to finish walking your dog while on your knees.
i understand that my role as mayor will evolve as needs are found and i will work to meet those needs as they arise. as a part of the growth of my duties i will now begin looking for individuals to join the green circle trail mayoral police force.