Author: Robert

This past Sunday we had to put Clive down. He had been having problems with extreme lethargy (to the point that we thought one night he was going to die by morning) due to internal blood loss. Monday of last week we found out that he had what appeared to be multiple tumors on his spline and liver that were bleeding into his abdomen. By the weekend you could see his belly bloating from the blood loss. Sunday morning, he basically could no longer move so we knew it was time.

He was a very good boy.

It has only been a couple of days but I believe I can already tell that losing Clive is going to be harder for me than any of the other pet losses we have had. I always feel weird when someone says that their pet was their best friend. Truthfully it kind of makes me sad. Clive wasn’t my best friend. We didn’t have long talks about the meaning of life because, well, he spoke dog and I speak English. At the end of the day a dog is another species and I’m not sure that real friendship happens between species. However, I am convinced companionship does happen.

Clive wanted to be with me and I wanted him to be with me. It didn’t matter what I was doing Clive wanted to be near me. This led to me experiencing things with him and sometimes through him. That’s what happens with companions. You experience things together. Your experiences may be different, Clive was much more concerned with smells than I ever was, but even when different they experienced together. That’s what our pets do for us. We aren’t alone because we have companions.

Clive was a very good boy and I miss him.

I became fascinated with personal finance sometime ago (years if not decades ago). It probably started with listening to Clark Howard (the OG of personal finance audio). However it started, I now read and listen to more sources of personal finance information and related topics than I care to elaborate. Sometimes this leads to tangents that while pertaining to personal finance also relate to much broader subjects. An article I read this weekend hit upon one such a theme and it related to a derogatory Gaelic term.

The term is is “Mé Féiner“.

Here’s the article in which the term was mentioned. It describes a situation where three coworkers regularly drive to lunch together, often driving distances to explore the restaurants in their community. They decide to share carpooling duties only for one of their number to decide they don’t want to drive nor do they volunteer to contribute to the cost of the journey, thus leaving it for others to pay. The author brings up the term mé féiner to describe the apparent behavior of the one party in the story.

I don’t speak Gaelic but from what I have found online the term basically means “myself” but with a more sinister edge to it. It is used for the type of person who is always focused on how an event affects them with no concern for others. You probably know this type of person, maybe you have some of them in your life. They always put themselves first. They are always at the center of the photo, they eat more than their fair portion, or more of the best parts, of a shared meal with no regard for the others in the group, they make sure that they financially come out better in every situation, while others come out worse as a result of their choices, any emotional drama that takes place is shaped to help them first and foremost, etc., etc. The world revolves around them and thus they should benefit from pretty much every action.

Are any people coming to mind?

There are a few that have been a part of my life that seem to ring the bell when I think of this Gaelic term.

I don’t have the training or education to go into the pathology of why this happens with some people who may have it as the result of personality disorders but I do believe for many non-personality disordering suffering people it comes from being overtaken by two mindsets: 1st a mindset of fear, and 2nd a mindset of scarcity. I fear that I won’t be taken care of because there are limited resources. So if you get your needs met that very well may mean that my needs will go unmet as a result. Therefore, I operate in a “me against the world” mindset and look out for myself first. Love says “we’re in this together” and lifts others up. Fear says it is a “dog eat dog” world and one of us has to lose so it might as well be you.

The Jesus described in the New Testament is unlike the mé féiner. He is the one Who lays His life down for others rather than just thinking of himself. He is the One Who continues to take care of others’ needs even when He is exhausted and just trying to avoid the crowd (Mark 6:32-34). Paul describes Jesus, and how we should be like Him, in the following song from the early church quoted in his Letter to the Church in Phillipi.

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:1-11

The cross-shaped life informed by Jesus is the opposite of the mé féiner life. I am convinced it is also the better life. The message of the world may be “get yours” or “make sure you are looking out for number one”, but I am convinced that those messages are not only hurtful to those around us but also to our very own selves. That message tears us down and keeps us from the joy of living the cross-shaped life. The self-giving message of the gospel teaches us that when we lose our life that is actually when we find it. Which is why I believe that when we lift others up and operate out of love instead of fear, we usually find that we have been lifted up too. Love cast out fear and when there is no longer any fear there is no longer any “need” to grab yours before others receive theirs.

One of the things I love about the church that I am honored to pastor is that we have a mix of people from various political backgrounds on various issues. Some of us are progressive, some of us are conservative, and most of us vary depending upon the issue. I am more progressive than many I know concerning guns because I believe there are things we can do and need to do relating to better gun control, and I am more conservative than many I know because I own guns, and enjoy hunting and “plinking” with them.

So when there are mass shootings (it haunts me that I so easily type “when there are mass shootings”) I am surrounded by people I love and respect who are on various ends of the gun debate spectrum. But there is one thing that definitely gets me and that is when people casually say they are offering up their “thoughts and prayers”.

To pray to the God I know as revealed in the person and life of Jesus almost always leads to a call from Him for action on our part. It is not something done lightly or flippantly. There is power in the name of Jesus, and often that power calls on us to act when we pray in His name.

In the Christian faith, the Lord that you pray to, through, and by when you offer up thoughts and prayers is the same One that taught us to pray that His kingdom would come and His will would be done “on earth as it is in heaven.” Our prayers are offered up to the loving Father Who leaves the ninety-nine to find the lost one, done through the power of the Spirit that perfects strength through weakness, and the mediation of the Son Who prays for those who are nailing Him to a cross. Praying for another’s comfort and protection through this triune God very may, and often does, lead to us hear the Crucified one say “I literally put you here ‘for such a time as this‘, I will work through you to provide comfort and protection. So go!”

Two quotes comes to mind when I think of this. The first is from C.S. Lewis

It is quite useless knocking at the door of heaven for earthly comfort; it’s not the sort of comfort they supply there.”

⏤ C.S. Lewis, Letters of C.S. Lewis (Dec. 3, 1959)

The second is from Søren Kierkegaard.

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.

⏤ Søren Kierkegaard, An Occasional Discourse: On the Occasion of a Confession: Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing

The Father has a nasty habit of changing us and directing our attention to things we weren’t asking to do when we earnestly turn to Him in prayer. Earthly comfort often focuses on “God please do this so I don’t have to do anything, change, or get involved in their messy grief and hurt.” The prayer for heavenly comfort calls those who seek it to desperately long for and try to live in the kingdom of Heaven that is already but not yet fully, here.

After all, “It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” The living God doesn’t answer our prayer based on our agendas, He constantly shapes those who earnestly pray to Him to His agenda.

I can’t say what His Spirit will lead us each to do. I’m just saying when we lift up our “thoughts and prayers” on behalf of those who are hurting we need to be prepared for the great Comforter to call us to be the ones to comfort the hurting and change the possibility of others being hurt … and … maybe change our political agendas.

This week Russell Moore wrote the following article (This Is the Southern Baptist Apocalypse) for Christianity Today regarding the external report on sexual abuse and the SBC Executive Committee. In addition, David French wrote another fantastic article on the same subject for The Atlantic, The Southern Baptist Horror. Both articles describe horrific and evil actions of not protecting those that are in need and actually sheltering those who did the harm.

I have just enough Reformed thought in me to believe that we live in a fallen world so I am not surprised that evil took place inside various churches by the leaders of those churches. While I don’t expect evil to take place, I am not surprised when it does because of the fallen nature of the world. Of course, this isn’t just in the church. Look at any institution and you will find evil that has happened or is happening within it. Yet the church is supposed to be a place where we know that we have sinned and we come in repentance, which means admitting to and confronting with the power of the Holy Spirit the evil of which we have been participants. Like a spiritual Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, we enter the church by admitting our fallen nature. Hi, I’m Robert and I am a sinner – much like the wonderful Jesus prayer from my Orthodox spiritual family members – Jesus, have mercy on me the sinner. When we admit our sin there is no need to try and hide it to save face. Light drives away darkness.

But the report that came out this week shows that the SBC Executive Committee didn’t do that. Instead of repenting of evil and helping the victims, the SBC EC fought to protect itself, some of the members of the EC, and at least in its own mind, the SBC from reputational harm and possible legal liability. The church is supposed to be the place that leans towards the oppressed and yet the report shows that the EC leaned toward the values of power and cared more for organizational security than for the needs of those who have been victimized. It was very unChristlike behavior and evil.

What does this mean for me?

After all, I am the pastor of a Southern Baptist Church. I recognize that I owe a good bit to the SBC. While I wasn’t raised in church when I came to faith as a teen it was through an SBC church. The spiritual formation that still shapes me the most came from my college minister, Mike Nuss, who was funded by the SBC. My first step into church ministry was paid for by the SBC when I served over a Summer at Temple of Faith Baptist Church in Detroit. I have two different degrees from SBC seminaries where at least half my tuition was paid for by the SBC. Finally, Tapestry‘s initial funds came from the SBC. I recognize that I have a large debt to the support that came through the cooperation of many SBC churches.

But I never want to turn my back on victims out of some sense of indebtedness.

Matthew 25 is one of the passages of scripture that most shapes my faith in Jesus. In that passage, Jesus describes the sheep and the goats being separated and the determiner of that separation is how each has treated “the least of these.” Did they give something to eat, something to drink, invite them in, clothe them, or visit them? The sheep did and the goats didn’t. Jesus reveals that whatever they did or didn’t do for “the least of these” was done, or not done, to Jesus.

SBC Executive Committee the One you turned your back on, “gaslighted”, and exposed to potential harm by hiding predators was Jesus and your fruit is being shown for what it is. I didn’t participate in any of that but now that it is known I will be judged on my response to it. So what do I do?

Honestly, I don’t know yet.

I’m not one to care much about denominational business, and I don’t like “hot takes” and quick responses, but I will be watching the convention VERY closely this year to see the response to the report. The actions that happen at the 2022 SBC Convention in Anaheim June 12-15 will shape much of my response. If the SBC responds to the report in true repentance, not just with an apology but actually declaring evil as evil and taking steps to correct that evil and repair, as much as possible, the harm, that will shape how I respond. If the SBC moves to really begin listening to the victims, that will shape how I respond. If the SBC moves to be more concerned with biblical justice than when protection of the powerful in our midst and our perceived reputation, that will shape how I respond.

And if it doesn’t … that will shape how I respond.

I am sure that the SBC won’t really care how I respond because I am the pastor of a small church in Wisconsin. Someone who doesn’t have a name in the SBC, doesn’t have a desire to have any power in the denomination, and a church that doesn’t hold any sway in the SBC. So it won’t hurt the SBC if I say “I can’t be a part of this anymore” because there aren’t any “real” numbers of people or money involved. Therefore few will probably care. Yet I know the One who does care and He is watching to see how I respond when the people who are supposed to be His bride respond to Him in His most distressing disguises by turning their backs on Him.

I know many like to use the word “sheep” as a derogatory statement by saying people are “sheeple”, but Jesus likes sheep and I want Him to see how I respond and call me a sheep.

SBC I am watching how we respond on June 12-15. I pray that response is the response of sheep and not goats.

SIDE NOTE – Russell Moore has an informative podcast episode with Rachel Denhollander concerning the SBC Executive Committee report that is very insightful and well worth the listen. It is located HERE.

Pretty much every Monday night Pam and I eat supper with my Mom. Tonight we decided to pick up Panda Express for the meal, so I went on their website to place our order. As I was finishing up the arborist, who we’ve hired to remove 6 very large white pines and 1 dead maple tree from our yard, rang the doorbell to let me know he was finished for the day. I went up and talked with him for a few minutes and then left to pick up our food from Panda Express.

When I got to Panda Express I didn’t see our meal on the takeout shelf and asked one of the workers when the order for Robert T would be finished. They told meit would be ready in just a few minutes and asked me to take a seat while they finished. A couple of minutes later, as promised, a worker walked over with my order and I hopped in our vehicle to pick up Pam and Noah and head to Mom’s.

It was at Mom’s place that I discovered that this was not my order. Instead, it was a similar but not quite the same order as mine. It was a slightly larger order than ours without as much variety. The name on the receipt said “Rob C”. Well that explains it. The worker heard my “Robert T” as “Rob C” and gave me “Rob C”‘s order. They sound close enough for that to happen. I called Panda Express to tell them that I had received the wrong order but that it was very similar. While they were looking into it we were disconnected. Pam, Noah, Mom, and I decided we were good with this food and went ahead and ate it. Like I said the order was very similar and we all got something we wanted.

After spending more time at Mom’s we packed up and headed home. I briefly went to check something on my computer and that is when I noticed that the “Check out” page for the Panda Express website was still up. It seems that when I went answer the doorbell and talk to our arborist I never actually clicked the “submit” button. So the order was never placed. This wouldn’t have been a problem and I would have discovered it when I got there and there was no order for me EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THERE WAS A “ROB C” ORDER THERE READY TO BE PICKED UP.

Don’t worry I went back to Panda Express, explained the situation, and paid for our meal so as to not be living on the lamb. They all thought it was hilarious and even gave me a coupon. I’m gladly that it worked out this was because I don’t think Rob C would have liked my order as much. There would have been too much variety in it for what I believe are his tastes.

I once heard Tony Campolo say that if you really want to know if you are Christian, just ask your waitress. I really like his point, because the gospel should shape how we treat all those around us, and that begins with those closest to us. This is all the more true during the pandemic when so many people in the hospitality industry are seeing the worst side of people. This week I read a quote from D. L. Moody that I would place alongside Campolo’s statement. In fact, I suspect that Moddy influenced Campolo’s thoughts on the matter.

Moody wrote:

“If I wanted to find out whether a man was a Christian, I wouldn’t go to his minister. I would go and ask his wife. We need more Christian life at home. If a man doesn’t treat his wife right, I don’t want to hear him talk about Christianity.”

I like this quote because I believe that home and friendships are where so many of the simple aspects of faith are played out.

Too many people want to do “great things for God”, not realizing that 1) God doesn’t need us to accomplish anything for Him, and 2) being used by God to accomplish something big doesn’t indicate closeness with God or growth in the character of Jesus in our lives. After all, God used Nebuchadnezzar to accomplish His will while Nebuchadnezzar was the type of person to set up huge golden idols and punish God’s faithful people. So some live trying to do something grand for God and leave out the mundane parts of their lives from being transformed by the Holy Spirit. This is a shame because the mundane parts of our lives are the most important for actually developing the character of Christ in us.

Unfortunately, such a focus often leads to ministries and ministers who ignore, or worse , mistreat their family, friends, and employees while feeling justified because they are doing something big for God. It sounds like we may have another ministry serving as an example of this in Preemptive Love. While trying to “stop the spread of violence” it appears that their leadership may have been “bully(ing), gaslight(ing), and abuse(Ing) the peacemakers” on their own team. Jesus said that “the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart” (Matthew 15:18) and the people closest to us are therefore going to know our hearts better than others because they have the chance to experience what is in our hearts more often than others.

We have been called to be like Jesus, but so often we would rather just do something for Him because that takes less change of our selfish ways.

If you searched for Trek Mamba upgrades and are just here for the upgrade list CLICK HERE to go to the list.

During the second Summer of the COVID-19 pandemic, I, and apparently everyone else in the free world, got into the sport of mountain biking. If you doubt that “everyone else” got into mountain biking go to your Local Bike Store (LBS) and try to buy a bike. You will most likely discover that they will gladly sell you a bike that will arrive around June – if you are lucky.

I have actually mountain biked for a few years but it was biking of the “hey I have an entry-level mountain bike and I should use it” variety. This meant around 60ish miles a season (late Spring through Fall). I would go out with a friend every now and then. This season has been significantly different. We aren’t through with the season yet and I am over 425 miles. I am going to my local trail (Standing Rocks Park) 4 to 5 times a week.

Of course, I am still on my entry-level mountain bike (a 2013 Trek Mamba Gary Fisher edition) because the bike I finally convinced myself to buy won’t be here till May 2022, at the earliest. Though I have made some pretty significant upgrades to the bike. Many people will say that you shouldn’t do significant upgrades to a bike like the Mamba because your money will be better spent on buying a new bike. They call it “polishing a turd”. This may be true when bikes are not in short supply (it is difficult to almost impossible to find a decent used bike now too), but it isn’t when you are:

1. in the middle of a pandemic that is causing manufacturing and distribution problems
2. Trying to determine how into MTB you are going to be
3. Keeping your old bike as a backup/spare for guests

So I slowly upgraded the Mamba (or FRamba – Fred the Mamba) through the season. Here’s a list of what I have done to the FRamba. I had a heck of a time finding information concerning what upgrades would work well for my 9-year-old bike – mountain biking technology has changed a great deal in the past 5 years. Hopefully, this list will help someone else with their still very fun to ride older Mamba.

The Upgrade List

• Swapped drivertrain from 3x to 1x with Eagle NX derauiler and cassettee and Raceface front sprochet.
• Replaced the Bontrager tires with Maxxis Rekon 29×2.25 (front) and Pace 29×2.10 (back) tires – I could place a wider tire on the back now that it has been converted to 1x but could not do so when the bike was still 3x on its drivetrain.
• All Mountain Style Mudguard
• PNW Pine 27.2 Dropper Post 90mm & Puget MTB Lever 1x
• New Green PNW Loam Bolt-On Grips
• Green OneUp Components Composite Pedals
• OneUp Components EDC Lite Integrated Tool System
• RockShox Judy Gold RL Suspension Fork – 29″, 100 mm, 9 x 100 mm, 51 mm Offset, Black, Straight, A3

This “turd” will be thoroughly polished once the new air fork is placed on her in November. She has improved as a ride throughout the season – partially because my skill has improved and partially because she has been improved through the upgrades. The conversion to a 1x drivetrain and the dropper post probably made the greatest difference in her ride. I understand why so many MTB videos and articles sing the praises of 1x conversion and dropper post-installation. Both upgrades made substantial differences in how she rides. In addition, she is around 1,000 grams lighter than she was at the beginning of the season and is another 500 grams lighter from the fork replacement.

I have a new and improved Trek Roscoe 8 on order that hopefully will be here May 2022. Until then the FRamba is a great ride and she will continue to be a wonderful backup/spare bike for when guests are around.

BTW the folks at Point Area Bicycle Service have helped with many of these upgrades. They are wonderful and I would encourage you to go there for your bike services.

It was a beautiful wedding today. Adam and Abby did a great job of putting it together, and more importantly, I believe they have done a wonderful job of preparing for a life together. Pam and I are so thankful that Abby is now a part of the family.