Category: odd

today pam, the boys, my nieces, and one of the neighborhood kids went with me to global wildlife in folsom, louisiana. while we were there i heard a story from the tour guide that reinforces how evil the boy scouts are. here’s the story.

awhile back a group of boy scouts went to global wildlife really wanting to see one of the lamas at the park spit. you see lamas spit at whatever they feel is threatening them. it’s one of their defense techniques. the boys scouts really wanted to see this defense and thus they grabbed the lama’s ears, thumped it, hit it, and pulled it’s tail in an attempt to get the lama to spit. eventually they succeeded in ticking the lama off and it began to spit. that’s when the boy scouts learn some new and valuable lessons concerning lamas.

first, lamas don’t actually spit. no it’s not spit that shoots out of their mouths but rather vomit. the vomit stinks and continues to smell for quite some time even after you have tried to wash it off. imagine getting sprayed by a skunk and you’ve got the right smell.

second, the boy scouts learned that lamas don’t spit just one time. no lamas apparently really like spitting at their enemies and thus do it with great vigor. so lamas continue to spit/puke on their enemy until it has run away from them. if the boy scouts had been on foot they could have actually run away from the lamas and thereby ended their vomit dousing. unfortunately for the scouts they were on a trailer being pulled by a tractor and the tractor had stopped at the lama’s spot for everyone to be able to feed them. thus the trailer wasn’t moving and the angry lama took full advantage of the trailer’s stationary nature.

thirdly, the now smelly boy scouts learned that lamas like to defend each other and thus when one lama spits on an enemy all the other lamas join it to protect their friend. so all the other lamas in the area joined the ticked off lama in continually spitting at the now covered in vomit troop of boy scouts.

finally, the rancid scouts learned that lamas are not easily tricked. the scouts sought cover in the only spot of defense they could find – under the bench that they had been sitting on. this meant that the bench was protecting their topside and the canvas tarp on the side of the trailer was protecting their side. unfortunately, there was a small open crack between the floor and the side tarp. the lamas soon found this crack and began spitting through it. by the end of the trip the boys scouts had learned not to mess with lamas.

today pam, the boys, my nieces, and one of the neighborhood kids went with me to global wildlife in folsom, louisiana. while we were there i heard a story from the tour guide that reinforces how evil the boy scouts are. here’s the story.

awhile back a group of boy scouts went to global wildlife really wanting to see one of the lamas at the park spit. you see lamas spit at whatever they feel is threatening them. it’s one of their defense techniques. the boys scouts really wanted to see this defense and thus they grabbed the lama’s ears, thumped it, hit it, and pulled it’s tail in an attempt to get the lama to spit. eventually they succeeded in ticking the lama off and it began to spit. that’s when the boy scouts learn some new and valuable lessons concerning lamas.

first, lamas don’t actually spit. no it’s not spit that shoots out of their mouths but rather vomit. the vomit stinks and continues to smell for quite some time even after you have tried to wash it off. imagine getting sprayed by a skunk and you’ve got the right smell.

second, the boy scouts learned that lamas don’t spit just one time. no lamas apparently really like spitting at their enemies and thus do it with great vigor. so lamas continue to spit/puke on their enemy until it has run away from them. if the boy scouts had been on foot they could have actually run away from the lamas and thereby ended their vomit dousing. unfortunately for the scouts they were on a trailer being pulled by a tractor and the tractor had stopped at the lama’s spot for everyone to be able to feed them. thus the trailer wasn’t moving and the angry lama took full advantage of the trailer’s stationary nature.

thirdly, the now smelly boy scouts learned that lamas like to defend each other and thus when one lama spits on an enemy all the other lamas join it to protect their friend. so all the other lamas in the area joined the ticked off lama in continually spitting at the now covered in vomit troop of boy scouts.

finally, the rancid scouts learned that lamas are not easily tricked. the scouts sought cover in the only spot of defense they could find – under the bench that they had been sitting on. this meant that the bench was protecting their topside and the canvas tarp on the side of the trailer was protecting their side. unfortunately, there was a small open crack between the floor and the side tarp. the lamas soon found this crack and began spitting through it. by the end of the trip the boys scouts had learned not to mess with lamas.

all of us in the youth office (along with lauren g. & laura p.) were working on “the view” for tomorrow night (the first official night for our new sixth graders) when jessica & jonathan broke out into grooving. i’m not sure i will be able to sleep tonight because of the nightmares of their dancing.

my youngest son, noah, had a “caddyshack” moment earlier today. his second grade class at parkview went swimming at the bocage racquet club today. the day was fun for a little while but then something happened. pam was talking with another mom at the event and suddenly noticed that a lifeguard was reaching with a long pole into the swimming pool and all the kids were forming a very wide circle around whatever the lifeguard was trying to capture with the pole. it would appear that one of the kids had really decided to “drop the kids off at the pool.” oh yes someone had “dropped a load” right in the middle of the bocage racquet club’s swimming pool. the employees chased out all the kids who had actually stayed in the pool and then super-shocked the pool. i sure hope someone shouted “DOODY!” when they found it.

i would have paid money for it to have merely been a baby ruth candy bar and for the pool guy to reach over and take a bite of it.

SIDE NOTE – i’m watching the season finale of “24” right now. woo hoo!

here’s a picture of the “crawfish man” that i talked about tonight during my message at “the view.”

a few weeks ago i was reading a blog and ran across a description of “totzilla“, the world’s largest natural tater-tot. in the description i found out that “totzilla” was being sold on ebay. i may be a cheap guy but i still know an opportunity when i see one. so i thought i would go and see how much “totzilla” was selling for. when i reached ebay the monster tot was only selling for $3. at that price i had to get this gigantic tot. of course, i wanted to see how much shipping would be before i bought thing – i mean transporting a giant tot can’t be cheap. it was going to cost $15 to ship “totzilla” in dry ice. with shipping in mind i figured i could spend about $25 total. i guesstimated that i could get at least $25 worth of stories and jokes out of possessing the world’s largest tater-tot. so i bid a maximum bid of $10 on the supreme tot. for one day i was the lead bidder on “totzilla”. that day was a glorious days, it’s a day that i will remember always. unfortunately the dream wasn’t meant to last. i was outbid. the problem was that i determined that i could only get $25 worth of enjoyment out of “totzilla” so i had to stick with my bid. in the end his supreme tot-greatness went for $12.01 – a price that was simply too high for my blood.

still i miss the prestige and pride that i might have had from being the owner of the largest natural tater-tot in the world.

it appears that toads in germany are exploding and nobody knows why. the toads climb out of a lake in the altona district of hamburg (now dubbed the “lake of death”), begin swelling to three times their normal size, and have their entrails explode out of them. 1,000s of toads have done this. it ain’t easy being green.

today i found out that alan wrote my real cell phone number in a bathroom stall. now you may be asking yourself, “how did robert find out this information?” well the answer to that question is that i received an anonymous phone call from some strange guy who had seen my number written on the bathroom stall at barnes and noble and decided to give me a call.

next time you see alan please kill him or just email him and tell him he’s a jerk. 🙂