the last place you look

the moleskinei’m a journal freak. about three years ago i picked a journal, started writing in it, and i’ve been hooked since then. i don’t journal every day but i do make it about every other day. i write in these journals for myself since i don’t figure anyone will ever actually read any of the stuff i put to ink and paper (i mean let’s face it this blog is put on the world wide web and the only people who read it are my parents and a few “sicko’s” 🙂 who don’t have a real life). everything that goes into my journal is there for my own enjoyment or memory. this makes it important to me to write down what happens during my days and then to keep these journals as they fill up. i’ve been working on my present journal since january.

that is i was working on my present journal. you see i lost my journal at the end of our nicaraguan mission trip. i wrote up some of the trip in the journal and i know i had it with me on the plane ride back, but once i got home it vanished. i’ve searched everywhere for it. i dug through my luggage from the trip, i searched through my clothes, and i tore through my closest. i found zip. i wasted alot of time and sweat for nothing.

so this meant i would need to buy another journal, but i didn’t want too. i convinced myself several times to go buy a new journal from barnes and noble. yet, i knew the second i bought a new journal i would find my old one. the old journal had to be around somewhere because i remembered writing in it on the plane trip back. i knew that my old journal was simply hiding from me and was ready to pounce into the open the second i walked back into the house with a new journal. maybe this whole thing was just a faithfulness test by my journal to see if i would hold true to it. i simply couldn’t let my old journal win. so each time i started to drive the 20 minutes to barnes and noble i went through this great mental struggle which ended with me turning back home and merely wasting gass. if only i hadn’t been raised by a superstitious mother – then i wouldn’t think through things like this.

this is when a friend of mine decided to solve the problem for me. he bought me a journal. this was great. after all, i had not bought the journal. surely this meant that my old journal wouldn’t just show up now. this had to mean the whole thing wasn’t just some cosmic joke trying to get me to spend money on an un-needy object. i was convinced i was in the journal-clear. i had remained faithful and had not bought a new journal. besides, i loved this new journal. it was exactly what i wanted. thus, i decided to start writing in the new journal.

three days into the new journal my old journal “jumped” out of a bag i had bought at the airport in el salvador.

now i have to decided which journal to finish first. i hate cosmic tricks.

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