miniature golf was not designed to be played by 7 year olds!
i could probably end this blog with that statement but that’s not really any fun so i’ll explain a little.
today i took noah, my youngest, to a friend’s birthday party. it was at celebration station, which is a miniature golf, go-kart, and arcade place that sells over priced cardboard pizza – the perfect bait for 7 year olds. noah is a 7 year old and therefore swallowed the bait “hook, line, and sinker.” we went to the party, met everyone, played some arcade games, and ate bland pizza and cake. the party was great until we reached the point of playing miniature golf.
just imagine eight 7 year olds with small, hard projectiles and weighted clubs.
have you stopped laughing yet? okay i’ll describe the scene then.
this whole event had “warning major disaster” written all over it in big, bold letters. personally i can’t believe that celebration station’s insurance actually allows this to happen. they should have it written into their insurance policy somewhere, “no one 7 year olds or younger is allowed to play miniature golf.” i’m sure this would lower their policy rates and make the whole environment safer for everyone.
the game began with each 7 year old boy lining up at the first hole. this is when they changed from fun little guys to pga wannabes. each 7 year old would get up to the tee and suddenly dream of being in a long distance driving competition. they would pull back their club and let it go. i’m sure they were thinking “swing through the ball.” all i knew was that it was dangerous for the people in front of us. being a good citizen, and not wanting be behind the kids swinging clubs, i went to the front of each course in the hopes of blocking any flying balls. it didn’t take me long to realize that this merely added to the fun. i’m convinced the kids began to aim at me. i ducked, i dodged, i dove. it was quite a work out.
i’m happy to report that we made it through the little adventure without any major injuries. the doctor says that i will probably only have post-traumatic nightmares for a month of so.