haunted

yesterday i was attached by an onion poltergeist.

i didn’t really experience any onion visuals or onion movements, but i know that i was attacked by an onion poltergeist because of the smell. before i say anything else let me say that to my knowledge i was not within 20′ of an onion all day. i did not handle an onion during the day nor was i around someone who was handling an onion. so there is no way that i should have naturally smelled of onion.

yet i did smell of onion and the smell grew stronger and stronger as the day went on. the first smell was faint at best. it was when i was having my eyes check for new glasses. this was mid afternoon. hour by hour the smell grew stronger as the ghost gained strength. by the evening the smell of onion on my person was so strong that everyone in the room could smell it. it was amazing.

in order to end this haunting i had to strip down and quickly wash everything i was wearing, including my winter coat, in “all” laundry detergent and holy water (i bless the washing machine). the exorcism took an hour but thus far it seems to worked. i no longer smell strongly of onion.

i am not sure what i did to tick off this onion phantom but i will try my best not to do it again. walking around with smelling like a 6’1″ onion was not a pleasant experience.

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2 Replies to “haunted”

  1. The onionman is getting back at you for not eating all those onions your mom ground up and hid in stew, hash, etc. when you were growing up.

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