my scheme has been foiled

as a youth minister for 18 years and a dad of 14 years i have learned a tried and true trick for making sure that i get something to eat … which has now been screwed up by my church family at tapestry.

when i was doing youth ministry it always turned out that i was busy doing something important when the food was being handing out. maybe i was talking with a teen, volunteer, or parent. maybe i was fixing a last minute detail or problem that had just occurred. whatever the reason i always seemed to be a little busy when the food was being dug into and it was always gone by the time i was free to eat. it never failed. no matter how much or little food i or the staff bought it would be gone by the time i was going to eat. it drove me nuts.

i guess it is more correct to say that is it drove me nuts <em>until</em> i remembered the weird things that my dad liked to eat. i quickly realized that the old fart had purposely developed tastes for things my brother and i didn’t like just so those items would be left for him. i hate to admit that my dad has ever had a good idea and i’m actually pretty sure that he didn’t create this idea but merely stole it from someone else ;). anyhow, i recognized the genius for what it was (whether it was stolen genius or not didn’t much matter to me) and i realized that there was something that i like that adolescents didn’t … pecan sandies.

i’m not sure why it is true but apparently something within the teenaged brain translates the wonderful taste of pecan sandies into a repulsive experience. i’ve verified it from about 17 years of youth ministry food purchasing. i could always depend upon the pecan sandies being left almost untouched from any youth event. all the pizza would disappear,  the double stuffed oreos would be gone before i ever got a look at them, and the only diet coke that would be left by the end of the night would be the flat stuff. yet i could always count on my sandies being left pristine for me. it was a great thing.

nobody ever informed me that planting a church would screw up all my paste ideas and methods. i’m not sure why i had never thought of it before but i now know that my sandies are not a safe bet for me anymore. the problem is that by starting a church i now participate within a ministry that has too many adults and too few adolescents for my pecan sandy method to work. i discoverd this when pam bought cookies this sunday night. pam knows the drill so she bought a bag of sandies for me  knowing that i would be able to have some at the end of the night to satisfy my craving. instead i ended up seeing young adults walking around the room with my pecan sandies in their hands. they looked like they were dunking the sandies in their coffee and talking with each other but i know what they were really doing. they were spitting in my eye! 🙂

ah, live and learn. now i have to find a different cookie that nobody likes but me.

9 Replies to “my scheme has been foiled”

  1. Whoa, blog appearance change!!

    Robert you could make a small sign and have it placed at food event locations of your church.

    (save some for Robert)

    If that doesn’t have the desired effect. Add W.W.J.D. to the front.

  2. haha…this is my favorite note ever!! i can't believe you actually caught on to the fact that we were in fact "spitting in your eye"( not eating them because we liked them…everyone knows you have to be at least 30 to ACTUALLY like them ) ( amanda lies ). i would suggest bringing dirt if you don't want college kids to eat it. well actually…i don't even know how long THAT would last. i mean we do eat debot everyday.

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