EOG Rant – Too Many Choices Coke Dispenser

I have mentioned before the Pamela thinks that I have EOG (Early Onset Grumpiness), as described in this great Portlandia sketch.

Well according to Pamela my EOG came out today.

You see the power went out at our house so we decided to go out to eat after church rather than open our refrigerator and let the cold air out. We went to Qdoba. I like Qdoba, it serves a good product, fast, in a nice environment. Unfortunately the Qdoba in Stevens Point, Wisconsin also has this type of Coke dispenser.

Too many choices, not enough spouts, and touchscreens that almost never work. ARGH!!!!!

I HATE these Coke dispensers (I know my Midwestern friends would say “Soda dispensers” but I’m sticking with Coke for this post so you can deal with it – see my EOG is coming out) . These single spout, tons of choices dispensers drive me CRAZY! They slow everything down. Don’t give people all these choices. We can’t handle all these choices. All that happens is that someone is going to look through all the choices, be overwhelmed by it all, and then just go ahead and pick Cherry Coke. ARGH!!!!!! You wasted all that time just to get something that most normal dispensers have!!!!!! Just give us a regular multi-spout Coke dispenser with Water, Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, and throw in a surprise flavor every now and then as a treat. “Hey look this dispenser has raspberry flavored half Dr. Pepper/half Spite. That could be interesting.” See that’s fun and fast!

Breathe Robert. Breathe.

Anyhow I think I have figured out how to allow these dispensers for those foolish enough to enjoy wasting their time and still take care of us normal people. You can have one of these “too many choices, not enough spouts, and touchscreens that almost never work” dispensers at your restaurant if you have at least one other multi-spout Coke dispenser in the restaurant too. That way I can go quickly grab my regular Diet Coke while you have to wait for your preteen to try every combination possible. See this would be a win for everyone.

Qdoba you should fix this. Your burrito bowls are great and all but the drink situation is horrendous.

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