if robert is walking his dogs north on a single 20′ lease with one dog attached and robert’s left and right and the dogs suddenly see a squirrel south of them and begin to chase it at full speed, how quickly will robert hit the ground after being tripped by the lease that has wrapped around his legs?
intro & glory
i am a firm believer in premarital counseling. this april i am officiating the first wedding that i have not been involved within the premarital counseling of the couple. some of you know haley and john, for the rest of you i’ll just tell you that they are great kids. i can’t do their premarital counseling because i’m in wisconsin and they are in missouri. the phone thing doesn’t work well for premarital counseling (at least for me) because i don’t believe premarital counseling is so much about me imparting knowledge, as though i was an expert, but rather about helping the couple to make sure that they have discussed and thought through some important aspects of marriage and that doesn’t work so well through a phone call. so another pastor is doing the counseling. i know him and trust him but i still decided that i wanted to make sure that a few subjects were covered so i decided to type up a few emails over the next few weeks and send them to john and haley.
since, i’m too tired to post anything else tonight i figured i would post what i sent them (if for no other reason than i’ll always know where it is if i ever need it again). so here’s the first one.
Haley & John,
I know Frank is doing your premarital counseling and I have no doubt that he will do a great job but since I’m obviously not there I don’t know exactly what he is covering and thus I thought I would send you a series of emails hitting a few of the things that I believe are most important for a great marriage. I am not sending you this because I think Frank won’t cover them (I actually am pretty confident that he will) but these things are better mentioned twice than missed. Therefore, I thought I would just send you emails hitting things you’ve probably already discussed.
I’ll start by recommending some books.
- Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts – Les Parrott – Seven good questions and a good start for a lifetime of learning – you will have to continually learn because there are no earthly experts on marriage, only those with a little more or better experience. The finish line doesn’t happen until one of the dies or the Lord returns. We are all learning and will continue to learn through out our lives and marriages.
- Celebration of Sex – Douglas E. Rosenau – It’s a good enough book that Pam and I give it as our standard wedding present. If you get it let me know if you get it (though I wouldn’t read it until right before the wedding and when you are separate – temptation is a big thing) because if not you’ll get it from Pam and I – Surprise.
- Complete Financial Guide for Young Couple – Larry Burkett – This book is older but the concepts are still very true. You will have to adapt it to 2008 life but its the book I am most familiar with that covers newlywed finances.
So those are the books that I would initially recommend. Over the next several weeks I will send you each a quick email discussing what I would normally cover in a premarital counseling session. Of course, these letters will ultimately be incomplete because 1) there are no experts only those with a little more or better experience, 2) the premarital thing works best when it is a discussion (because I don’t have all the answers) and email is a primarily one sided form of communication.
So here goes.
1. Your marriage’s ultimate goal is to glorify and bear witness of our loving GOD.
I don’t mean by this that your marriage should look like a stupid CHRISTian drama. I once heard a young couple say that the thing they were most looking forward to on their honeymoon was sitting by a fire place and doing Bible study and praying for an hour or two before they did anything else. I told them that while that was a wonderful sentimental image I thought GOD would be most glorified if they honestly prayed “for that which we are about to receive make us truly thankful” and then got busy.GOD gave us marriage and therefore it portrays part of the character of it’s CREATOR. There’s a reason that the GOD WHO is TRINITY was so concerned about Adam being alone and made a helpmate from his side. That reason is that our GOD is and loves relationship. Look in the New Testament and you’ll see over and over again that one of the main references for the relationship between CHRIST and the church is that of marriage. GOD does not choose HIS words lightly. Your marriage has the opportunity to be a living example of the relationship between JESUS and the church. Your relationship also has the opportunity to display the very image of GOD. In Genesis 1:27 says:
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.When you get married you will be “John” and you will be “Haley” and you will be “John & Haley.” In a very limited way you will be a living example of our Triune GOD.
I believe that is one of the reasons that our GOD is so serious about marriage – HE doesn’t take kindly to HIS image being tarnished.
You may have heard it said “Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words
if necessary” (this quote is falsely attributed to Francis of Assissi). I think it is dang cool that when you love each other as GOD loves you will literally preach the good news of the kingdom of GOD with your marriage.I hope this makes sense. If you have any thoughts, disagreements, or questions just email me back. A discussion would be so much better.
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hadn’t even thought of “lost” until j.t. (blessed be his name) made this comment. i really want to be on the writer’s side in this issue but this cross is too much to bear.
evil television and film corporations i will blame you if i miss “lost.” beware satanic corporate types.
my run for the day
distance – 3 miles
time – 28:45
pace – 9:35/mile
stupid is as stupid does
i need to preface this by saying that i have never been a fan of pat robertson.
i would love to say that i didn’t understand why robertson was endorsing rudy giuliani but unfortunately i believe that i do. it’s all about power. i’m not in robertson’s head so i can’t say that i know everything thing about why he does what he does but the only reason i can think of that an individual would announce his support for an individual who is opposed to the two issues that the individual had previously said were the most important issues for those who follow him (remember that he said 9/11 took place because of america giving in to gay rights and abortion) is for power. i’m guessing that robertson thinks giuliani has more of a chance of beating hillary than any other republican and that’s what really matters to pat. if his “principals” are getting in the way of his ultimate goal of the republicans winning then those “principals” need to be adjusted a little bit. it’s all about power.
of course, robertson is not the only one to have ever swapped course in the middle of the stream in order to win a goal that was different from the one he had been espousing. it’s just not something i’m very cool with and i try to avoid it.
what do rome and jerusalem have to do with one another? what does seeking political power over principals have to do with JESUS? i can’t see anything. i hope most other CHRISTians well the same way and that robertson’s influence on some will wane now that he is clearly seen for what he is.
darn j.t. and his blessed name
j.t. (blessed be his name) posted a video on his blog explaining why the writers decided to strike. this would make me feel bad about wish they were not on strike if it was not for the fact that their strike has postponed “24.” i understand them wanting to get their due for their work but this is “24” we’re talking about. they really should have considered that before they went on strike. i find it hard to disagree with j.t. (blessed be his name) because he is a youth ministry god, but i do have to remind him that this strike is postponing “24” and that is simply not acceptable.
SIDE NOTE – for those who are curious my cute, intelligent, doctoral wife has made it to honduras safely. she will be there until the 18th while see helps with the operation smile project that is going on down there. if you wanted to keep her in your prayers we would both appreciate it greatly.
say it ain't so
i was okay with the writers striking until i saw this. why do they have to go and mess up the premiere of “24?” that’s just not right. they really should consider such matters before they go on strike.
ht steve mccoy
i like this strategy
i busted my butt
tonight was my first curling bonspiel. i think i smiled the whole evening. of course, i also sucked. i was awful. out of 16 rocks i think i actually had 4 that were in play and that is probably being generous. in the midst of throwing the stones either too hard or too soft i also managed to fall on the ice twice. one of the falls was so hard that it even stopped the game next too us. my whole body had to have been at least s 1/2 feet off the ice on that fall. it was truly remarkable and i am already very sore (and i know it will just be worse tomorrow). i’m not sure why it never hit me that running across a sheet of ice while trying to sweep in front of a fast moving stone might be a little difficult.
after we finished the bonspiel (we lost by three stones) several people came up tell me where to get sticker shoes. they were real concerned that i wouldn’t come back again. apparently they loose a good number of beginners after a fall. i just told them that i was a kltuz and nothing but a broken bone would keep me from playing. the whole evening was a blast and the people were great fun to be around.
i practicing again thursday morning & maybe friday morning as well.
so proud of my wife, enjoying the snow, and hoping it's a joke but knowing its not
first, i’m so stinking proud of my wife. today she defended her dissertation and she is finished with all the requirements for her ph.d. she’s a cool chick.
second, today it snowed for the first time since we moved to wisconsin. it was just a flurry but it was still the most snow we’ve seen in seven years.
finally, i know there are head hunters for ministers but the concept sill makes me want to puke. i received an email from another head hunter today. here’s the email (with the church blocked out because i don’t desire to help these people in any way):
robert,
i am with ministersearch a consulting firm based in dallas, tx. we assist churches as they search to find ministers for key staff positions. we also coach pastors and ministers like you as you determine if you are in the most effective ministry role and/or position.
we have partnered with XXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX church in sumter, sc http://www.XXXc.org/ in their search for a coaching pastor. The coaching pastor will be the chief leader and strategist for adult discipleship along with a coach to the youth and children’s pastors.
this is an excellent opportunity for someone who has the right mix of leadership and ministry experience.
XXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX church is a contemporary church that has had a great impact on the community. XXXX XXXXX, the lead pastor, is looking to add this person to the church’s senior management team which cast’s the vision for the church.
the right person will have several years of ministry experience in a growing environment. this is not a church that gets hung up on legalism so staunch fundamentalist will not be a fit. You should also have a desire to serve on a team instead of independent ministries.
the compensation and benefits are outstanding and the cost of living in this quaint community is very reasonable.
if you have an interest this position, please forward a copy of your resume for confidential review – I will get it to the search consultant handling this search.
also, please forward this email to anyone you think may be interested in hearing more.
thank you for your consideration.
sincerely,
XXXX XXXX
every time i see or get one of these i get sad. what does a letter like this have to do with JESUS or ministry? i know some of my other ministerial friends have seen these same letters. thankfully my friends think these ministerial head hunters are sad also.
i emailed him back the following:
stan,
you’re kidding right? please be kidding. i so hope you’re kidding because i can’t see JESUS in any of this.
robert
defense
for those of you who know and love my wife (and lets face it – if you know pam then you love her – she’s just that type of woman) you probably want to know that she defends her dissertation tomorrow at 1 p.m. i know she would appreciate your prayers.
after she defends her dissertation she will head from baton rouge to be one of two speech pathologist on the hondurian operation smile project. that means she is gone from home for two weeks. i’m not sure the boys and i can survive off of my cooking for two weeks.
SIDE NOTE – i think one of things i am going to have a hard time adjusting to will be how much sooner it gets dark in wisconsin. being further north means less daylight in the winter. now that day light savings time has ended it is completely dark at 5:06. in alabama & louisiana that would have happened around the time of the solstice.