garbage in, garbage out

i’m not sure what i have done to offend my garbage and recycling men but i know that i have done something. you see they hate me. i can tell that they hate me because they are constantly messing around with me. if i take my garbage and recycling out sunday night for our typical monday pick up (which i usually do) then they wait until around 8 p.m. to actually pick up the trash and recycling. of course, if i decide to take the trash out in the morning those evil garbage collectors come to our neighborhood at 4:30 a.m. when they come in the morning and i don’t have my garbage cans out they make a huge amount of noise just so that i know that they are outside and my garbage and recycling aren’t. i know they do it on purpose.

their evil plans are even more obvious when i only take half of my garbage/recycling load out. if the garbage is out early then only the recycling guy comes by in the morning and if the recycling is the only part i’ve put out at dawn then it’s merely the garbage guys who drive by my house while the sun is rising. the other guy always waits until late at night to come by and pick up their load. i’m sure that they are laughing when they drive by my house. they’re evil i tell you. evil!

i’m not sure what the purpose of their evil plan of ignoring my garbage and recycling is but that’s the genius of their plan – you’re not real sure what they are trying to accomplish. only an evil mastermind would come up with a plan so devious that you can’t tell what its goal is. that’s how evil they are.

i took the garbage out a little while ago so i guess i should move the recycling out now. i’m such a wimp for giving into their manipulation.

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