Author: Robert

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being genuine

let me be transparent for a moment – i hate the word transparent, i’m fed up with people saying that they are being real, and i think i’ll puke the next time someone tells me that they are genuine. current catch phrases that’s all they are. they’re the words that are current right now and ministers, speakers, and other various youth worker wannabes say them so they will sound good. but to me they’re basically just words with very little meaning behind them.

the reason i think this is because i actually do have a theory on being “real” – kind of ironic isn’t it. my theory is this – we are most real when we admit how fake we are. we are all pretty much a bunch of posers. i screw up regularly and i want to keep those screw ups as well hidden as possible. even though possibly the best thing that could happen to me would be for you to know each of my sins so that i would no longer have to pretend, that’s not what i want to happen. i want to hide my sin and keep on pretending like i’m perfect. i am one very fake person. in fact, i am so fake that when i begin to become “transparent” i am usually thinking in the back of my mind about how secure in myself i am to let people see my weaknesses. i’m not secure. i’m pathetic.

the good news for me is that i’m not alone. i’m surrounded by pathetic people. people who desperately want to be “real” but don’t know how to because we are so completely fake. in my heart i want to live the life of the velveteen rabbit but in my mind i don’t want to go through all the pain and anguish of getting rid of all the layers of fakeness within my life. what if under all those layers of “fakeness” i find out there’s nothing real in the center – the equivalent of a fake onion, simply made up of layers.

thankfully JESUS loves fake people if only we recognize that we are fake. hypocrites don’t realize that they are posers, hypocrites think that they are “real”. JESUS loves fake people who understand how “unreal” they are. one day JESUS will take all of us “posers” and make us real.

i’m not trying to offer up a cheap, little, sunday-school answer here. i’m not trying to just cover a very difficult problem with the simply phrase “but JESUS will take care of things in the end.” i know life has difficult problems and the answers to these problems aren’t easy. it’s just that there’s not another answer to the problem of how fake we are. if JESUS doesn’t love us as a group of wannabes then we are all basically out of luck. there’s nothing else we can do about it. none of us are real enough to find an answer to our fakitivity (my wife’s word). either JESUS loves us in spite of our fakeness and helps us to become real or we’re doomed to live and die in a world that only pretends to be genuine

so let me be as transparent as i can be – there is nothing transparent about me. i am so fake that i even trick myself into believing that i’m being real. yet there is still hope for me. that hope is found in the only ONE WHO is real.

am i as clear as mud?

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the breastplate

tradition has it that st. patrick began his morning everyday by praying the same prayer. it was a prayer for protection and a proclamation of his intent to follow CHRIST throughout that day. i think it is a butt-kicking prayer.

i arise today
through a mighty strength, the invocation of the TRINITY,
through the belief in the threeness,
through confession of the oneness
of the CREATOR of creation.

i arise today
through the strength of CHRIST’s birth with HIS baptism,
through the strength of HIS crucifixion with HIS burial,
through the strength of HIS resurrection with HIS ascension,
through the strength of HIS descent for the judgment of doom.

i arise today
through the strength of the love of cherubim,
in obedience of angels,
in the service of archangels,
in hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
in prayers of patriarchs,
in predictions of prophets,
in preaching of apostles,
in faith of confessors,
in innocence of holy virgins,
in deeds of righteous men.

i arise today
through the strength of heaven:
light of sun,
radiance of moon,
splendor of fire,
speed of lightning,
swiftness of wind,
depth of sea,
stability of earth,
firmness of rock.

i arise today
through GOD’s strength to pilot me:
GOD’s might to uphold me,
GOD’s wisdom to guide me,
GOD’s eye to look before me,
GOD’s ear to hear me,
GOD’s word to speak for me,
GOD’s hand to guard me,
GOD’s way to lie before me,
GOD’s shield to protect me,
GOD’s host to save me
from snares of devils,
from temptations of vices,
from everyone who shall wish me ill,
afar and anear,
alone and in multitude.

i summon today all these powers between me and those evils,
against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,
against incantations of false prophets,
against black laws of pagandom
against false laws of heretics,
against craft of idolatry,
against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
against every knowledge that corrupts man’s body and soul.

CHRIST to shield me today
against poison, against burning,
against drowning, against wounding,
so that there may come to me abundance of reward.
CHRIST with me, CHRIST before me, CHRIST behind me,
CHRIST in me, CHRIST beneath me, CHRIST above me,
CHRIST on my right, CHRIST on my left,
CHRIST when i lie down, CHRIST when i sit down, CHRIST when i arise,
CHRIST in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
CHRIST in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
CHRIST in every eye that sees me,
CHRIST in every ear that hears me.

i arise today
through a mighty strength, the invocation of the TRINITY,
through belief in the threeness,
through confession of the oneness,
of the CREATOR of creation.

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finally! i’ve changed the look of the blog – at least a little

it’s truly sad that it has taken me this long to learn how to change any part of the style of this blog. it’s been over a year but i am finally beginning to make some sense of how this thing operates. i know for some of you this is no big deal, but for me this is a major victory. i’m just not as much of a computer geek as i once was. yet tonight i was able to change the background on this stupid thing (which now doesn’t match the color scheme of the rest of the page – that will change later), add a sub-title to the top-menu, and change the alignment of my title & sub-title on the top-menu. i’ll work on other changes tomorrow (or maybe the next day).

in celebration of the fact that i have moved a very small step (and i do mean a very small step) back toward the computer geek i once was i would like to announce that i am seriously considering buying a powerbook. just thinking about buying a powerbook is the most exhilarating computer thing i’ve ever done. here are the reasons for possibly buying a powerbook:

  • macs are better at video editing than pcs are and i will be doing a fair amount of video editing on the new laptop.
  • because of pam’s educational discount the pc and mac prices are roughly equivalent
  • mac computers seem to have a longer “shelf-life” than pcs do
  • i will not be using or supporting microsoft windows – this is a big plus.
  • they’re cool – not a great reason but still a truthful statement concerning the powerbook.

i still haven’t made my final decision on which laptop to get but i’m getting closer. no matter what i buy, pc or mac, i will always be able to say that i once considered buying a mac. i some truly stupid way i have to admit that i feel better about myself for having at least once thought of buying a mac.

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made, loved, kept

julian of norwich was an anchoress and a mystic (1340 – 1426). during her “first showing” she saw all that had been “made” as a little object sitting in her hand. it was only about the size of the hazelnut. she was amazed by how fragile it look and bewildered that it could survive. looking upon it she made the following statement:

in this little thing the (“hazelnut of everything that has been ‘made'”) i saw three properties. the first is that GOD made it, the second that GOD loveth it, the third that GOD keepeth it. but what is to me verily the MAKER, the KEEPER, and the LOVER – i cannot tell; for till i am substantially oned to HIM, i may never have full rest nor very bliss: that is to say, till i be so fastened to HIM, that there is right nought that is made betwixt my GOD and me.

God:

  • made me
  • loves me
  • keeps me

i’m not sure that it can get much better than that. now if i could only remember that this is true and live based on it.

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tiger woods?

miniature golf was not designed to be played by 7 year olds!

i could probably end this blog with that statement but that’s not really any fun so i’ll explain a little.

today i took noah, my youngest, to a friend’s birthday party. it was at celebration station, which is a miniature golf, go-kart, and arcade place that sells over priced cardboard pizza – the perfect bait for 7 year olds. noah is a 7 year old and therefore swallowed the bait “hook, line, and sinker.” we went to the party, met everyone, played some arcade games, and ate bland pizza and cake. the party was great until we reached the point of playing miniature golf.

just imagine eight 7 year olds with small, hard projectiles and weighted clubs.

have you stopped laughing yet? okay i’ll describe the scene then.

this whole event had “warning major disaster” written all over it in big, bold letters. personally i can’t believe that celebration station’s insurance actually allows this to happen. they should have it written into their insurance policy somewhere, “no one 7 year olds or younger is allowed to play miniature golf.” i’m sure this would lower their policy rates and make the whole environment safer for everyone.

the game began with each 7 year old boy lining up at the first hole. this is when they changed from fun little guys to pga wannabes. each 7 year old would get up to the tee and suddenly dream of being in a long distance driving competition. they would pull back their club and let it go. i’m sure they were thinking “swing through the ball.” all i knew was that it was dangerous for the people in front of us. being a good citizen, and not wanting be behind the kids swinging clubs, i went to the front of each course in the hopes of blocking any flying balls. it didn’t take me long to realize that this merely added to the fun. i’m convinced the kids began to aim at me. i ducked, i dodged, i dove. it was quite a work out.

i’m happy to report that we made it through the little adventure without any major injuries. the doctor says that i will probably only have post-traumatic nightmares for a month of so.

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i’m an addict!

i have recently gotten involved in a internet forum for youth ministers. there’s alot of good conversation that goes on there and i am always finding new ideas within the discussions. the problem with the forum is that i have suddenly realized that i long for people’s electronic approval of my comments. i’ll make a funny comment and then come back later to see if someone has put up a LOL or ROTFL acknowledging the humor of what i have said. i’ll post a thoughtful comment and then return again and again to see if people have agreed with me and acknowledged the superior nature of my thought.

i am such an addict!

i come back again and again looking for this electronic approval. it’s reach the point that i now audibly laugh to myself when i post something funny or i’ll comment “oh, that’s good” when i know that i have made a good point within a discussion.

this is sad

please don’t post a comment. it will only encourage me to long for more.

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gemar hatima tovah!

pam and i were going to go to a yom kippur service tonight at one of the local synagogues. we were really looking forward to it because we are both very interested in the hebrew faith. i have nothing but profound respect for judaism.

we wanted to make sure that it would be okay for us to visit the service, since it is a very important service, and we wanted to find out if there were any customs that we needed to know about before coming to the service. so i called the synagogue.

when i asked if the service was open to the public the secretary said “you mean to … like … non-jews?”

“yep, i’m a gentile”

she said “i’ll have to ask”

so she put me on hold and went to ask. she then came back and said it would be a minute longer. the second time she came back she said it would be okay for us to come to the service but that the ushers would probably have alot of questions for us. i told her that would be fine and then asked if there were any customs that we needed to know about. she told me, “no, but the ushers probably will have alot of questions.”

needless to say i didn’t feel very welcomed.

now i know from my past that this is not true of all synagogues. growing up i had a fair number of jewish friends who took me to synagogue every time i spent the night with them. their synagogue was always open and welcoming. from this i know that this unwelcoming spirit has nothing to do with the jewish faith and everything to do with the people in the building. there are unwelcoming CHRISTians who operate churches that feel just like the synagogue i spoke with.

i just can’t understand why a church that worships the “most high GOD” would not be excited about others joining them. it makes no sense to me that you would not relish the opportunity to share the worship of the “LORD of hosts” with others. yet this synagogue was like this and many CHRISTian churches are like this too. how can we not welcome strangers when we know that they bear the image of our LORD in their flesh?

it scares me to think of the times i have been unwelcoming.

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the ginger plant

i received a ginger plant on behalf of the youth ministry today. let me tell you why.

hurricane ivan scared a bunch of people around here and started a MASS evacuation from new orleans, which is below sea level. tuesday afternoon, september 14th, i received a phone call from covenant house, a run-away teen shelter in new orleans, asking if they could stay with us. i told them that would be great but i would have to check with our pastor of administration first. turns out he had already told the red cross that we would gladly be a shelter for any needs that the red cross had – they put us as a secondary shelter asking that we stay open, ready, and available for them – most likely to be a meals location. this meant we had to be open for the red cross and i had to call the shelter back and tell them we couldn’t. turns out this wasn’t a problem because within the 10 minutes it took me to find out we couldn’t host them and then call them back they had already received a call from a camp in texas saying they could stay there. i was pretty disappointed. i really wanted to be a part of helping them.

wednesday morning, september 15th, i went to substitute teach in our church school. during the day jessica, my administrative assistant, came running into class with a smile on her face and said “they’re here!”

“who?”

“the teens from the shelter … and the have babies!” she was extremely excited about the chance to help the teens and the chance to hold the babies.

it turns out that they had left new orleans soon after our conversation the previous day and it had taken them 13 hours to make the usual 1 hour trip from new orleans to baton rouge. they needed a break, saw the church, and thought “they’ll help”.

this was great. what was even better was that my leadership team, teens, and parents had already stepped into action. some of them had driven by at the right time, noticed the vans, and stopped to ask what was up. before i could ever get over to see out visitors (it took me about 30 minutes) our parents, kids, and leadership had already taken care of them. food was found. toiletries were brought. diapers were purchased. it was all done before i could even get over there. everyone encouraged them to stay and rest as long as they wanted to and every need was met. i was actually a little disappointed because all i actually got to do was go buy some water – every other need was met before i ever got there. these teens and their leader were refreshed and it wasn’t because we had set up a program or trip for the adults and teens. nope they saw the need and decided for the glory of CHRIST they needed to do something about it. 7 hours later they left to finish their trip.

this would have been good enough but there was more. after our youth service last night i received a call from stephen, one of our youth. he said he had just heard from a former boss at jason’s deli that help was needed in making meals for emergency workers in the area east of us that don’t have power. he had already called some of our youth and wanted to know if i wanted to come. “sure” i said and i told him i could get some more.

“nope. i’ll take care of that. you just come if you want to.” is what he told me. today i took my wife and kids with me to the warehouse to find that 15 youth were already there making 3,500 meals. they had set the whole thing up. they called. they organized. they reacted.

i thought that was the end of both of those stories but i was wrong.

friday i drove to mountain home, arkansas with stephen and several other people to watch alan lusk’s wedding to rebbecca cooper. on the way up to mountain home i noticed that stephen looked pretty tired and said as much. he sheepishly said “my brother and went back up to jason’s deli this morning at 4:00 a.m. to prepare some more meals. WOW!

yesterday morning i received a call from renee the director of the covenant house. she said that she and her director wanted to come up from new orleans and thank us personally for the assistance we had given them. i told her i would love to meet here but she really didn’t have to come an hour to meet me because it wasn’t really that big of a deal. i told her that i had only wished that we could have let them stay at our church, rather than merely giving them a place to rest for 7 hours or so.

“you don’t know then do you?” she said.

i asked her what she was talking about and that’s when she told me that a few of our youth parents had found them a place to stay in baton rouge. the place said they could stay there but they wouldn’t be able to provide any food or anything. that was fine because my unknown youth parents hooked them up with dinner that night and breakfast the next morning. this had all been done without me ever knowing about it. the parents involved within the youth ministry saw the need, knew it was something we would want to do, and they jumped into action taking care of things. this is the way it’s supposed to happen. the minister gives the ministry over to the church and the church responds.

the people i’ve talked about here didn’t do these things so that i would brag about them. they don’t even know that i have posted this but i wanted to put it up for the world to know what kind of church parkview is. parkview is a church that sacrifices, serves, and loves because of the fact that we were first loved by CHRIST. that’s why i received a ginger plant. renee & stacey (her director) came from covenant house to give us the ginger plant and and two “thank you” notes (one from the staff and one from the teens). i’m going to plant the ginger plant by the student center as a reminder. i think i’ll post the thank you note here for all to read. it says:

dear minister terrell,
thank you and your youth so much for ministering to the needs of my staff and kids. they were tired and hungry and you took them in and gave them food and rest. i am so glad my kids got to see people who practice what they preach in the face of disaster. i am forever grateful to you and your church.
GOD bless,
stacey

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you’ve got to be kidding – “priest idol”

priest idol

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | TV and Radio | Channel 4 to screen ‘Priest Idol’

LONDON -With the working title Priest Idol, the show will give a vicar 12 months to boost the church’s turnout. Backed by advisors, the vicar will be able to spend an undisclosed sum of money on anything he or she thinks will appeal to parishioners. Being filmed in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, the three-part series is due to be broadcast at the end of 2005.

have we as the church really fallen down this low? have we truly reached a point where we are reduced to doing this in order to revive lagging attendance at our churches?

please say it ain’t so.

what happened to the hope that we have to offer this world? what has happened to the freedom that we have to offer the world? are these, and the other amazing joys of following CHRIST, not enough to grow a church? do we really now have to hold contests and bring in television cameras into our churches in order to stir us to reach out to a sick and dying world?

please say it ain’t so!