Author: Robert

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too much time on my hands and it’s ticking away

i’ve recently started cyber-visiting the youth specialties website forums and found some of the conversations quite good. i have also realized that two other things:

1. i don’t like a large percentage of youth ministers.

i actually found this out at a youth ministers’ meeting. i know this sounds odd but i simply find that a large number of youth ministers are overly concerned with numbers, have large egos, and strive to be hip. i am definitely not cool and i have no desire to be cool. in fact, i probably have the desire to be even less hip than i already am. i do not constantly try to know my students’ lingo, or what the top bands are, or dress in the latest fashions. i pretty simply love teens. i’m also not real concerned with how many kids we have (thought we actually have one of the largest youth ministries in town). i get fed up with people telling me how many they had for “such and such” event and then pressing me for how many we had. i think i am going to just start telling people that i’ve run all my youth off and i’m about to be fired. maybe that will shut up the talk about numbers. it might be fun to watch how they respond.

2. some people on this board have way too much time on their hands.

i was able to keep up with a few of the threads over the weekend but then tuesday came along and work began again. it was hard but i stayed in the conversations. that is until today. how in the world youth workers continue posting at the rate they do boggles my mind. i haven’t posted once today because i’ve been trying to catch up with the parts of the discussion that have gone on since i’ve been working. wednesday is one of my busiest days, with the view and such. it takes me all day to get things ready for the worship service that night. how can these other ministers manage such a large commitment of time with these boards. it blows my mind.

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an oldy but a goody

i am now officially old. this is true because today i bought a “micro-trimmer“. the micro-trimmer is one of those devices used for shaving hair in hard to reach places. i had to buy one of these “miracle” devices to groom the forest of hair that now grows within my nostrils. the hair within my nose has simply grown to dense to stay within the confines of my nose. therefore, it now tries to grow outside the confines of my noise and is viciously poking out into the open air. i guess that is good in some way. it probably indicates that my nose is well fertilized or something similar. i guess i should be proud of my growth of nostril hair. the problem is that these hairs often grow so long that it sometimes appears as if i have brown tusks coming out of my face. i don’t want to be known as the elephant youth pastor.

when it was only a single tusk or two i would pluck these overgrown hairs out. this was by no means an enjoyable experience. who could imagine that such a relatively small hair (small for scalp hair but monstrous for nose hair) could produce such an amazing amount of pain upon it’s removal. removing one of these beasts was like trying to pull out your tongue with a pair of tweezers. i could restand this pain when it was only a couple and merely took a few minutes. if i tried to pluck out all the extended nose hairs now it would take a full day and i would need psychotherapy afterwards to deal with the post-traumatic shock of all the pain it produced.

that is why i finally decided to give in and purchase a nose hair trimmer. i bought it this afternoon and immediately used it with fear and trepidation. i was frightened stiff. after all, what if the “micro-trimmer” wasn’t up to the task of harvesting and thinning out my forest of nostril hair? what if the micro-trimmer became tangled within the growth within my nose? i knew that was not going to be a pretty sight. yet i kept seeing pictures in my mind of the tusks growing from my nostrils. i knew that if i didn’t do something about it one day i would be running away from people screaming “i am not an animal … i am a human being.” i just couldn’t go there. so i started that sucker up and plunged it into my right nostril.

i’m proud to report that all went well (except for a tremendous amount of nose tickling) and the terrell nose hair forest has been thinned out.

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no t.v. month at the terrell

the boob tubeonce a year my family and i give up television. we do it to “detoxify” our minds and remind ourselves that we don’t have to have the television on in order to survive. it is always a favorite part of the year for us. we find that we have more conversations, get more stuff done around the house, play more games, and are generally more creative when we have the television off. it always works out that by the end of the month we have become completely used to not having the television on – not for t.v. shows, movies, ball games, video games, etc.

of course, the problem is right now that it has rained all day so i couldn’t work outside, i’m not really into the book i’m reading right now, and i have thus spent the day inside watching a computer screen hoping that someone would post a comment on the blog that i could respond to. i’ve been lurking around message board and forums hoping for some random conversation. i’ve become a sad pathetic human being.

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another video & another rant

we did another announcement video last night for the view. click here to see it.

now here’s the rant.

i’m fed up with youth ministers thinking it is cool to trash on the church. it seems like right now it is hip to be disenfranchised with the church. i hear people talk more and more about how they are fed up with the institutional church but not with CHRIST. this then leads to youth ministers complaining about how the church is so broken. i end up finding this in the blogs of allot of younger youth ministers (not that i’m very old – i’m only 36 and have only been doing this since 1989). it seems to me that their posts are basically saying “if only all the church members were as well rounded as i am then it would work right.” their vast experience of two churchs and four years of youth ministry has taught them how screwed up the church is and now they have decided to try and write about it like mike yaconelli. they write in their blogs as the “old sage” about how messed up working in and with the church is and how they have to go accomplish “real ministry” in other ways. they constantly grip about how much they have lost by working in and with the church (and never reflect on how much they have gained). every time i read a 24 year old writing this crap i laugh myself silly.

so i have only one thing to say … “GET OVER IT!”

the church is screwed up! everybody knows that. it’s full of bitter, mean, vengeful, backstabbing, adulterous, stupid, sinning, gossiping, fallen people (of which i am definitely one). these people will hurt and lash out at the very ministers who are trying to help and shepherd them. every CHRISTian should know that the church is full of screwed up people merely by the fact that they are allowed into the community. we are a community of the screwed up.

yet, the church is also the bride of CHRIST and HE is passionately in love with HIS bride. JESUS has chosen to work in and through really screwed up people like we have in the church and sometimes that sucks. but that’s who JESUS has chosen to love and use and therefore because of my love for HIM and my sense of call from HIM i choose to work with and in HIS bride. being a minister means working with and loving difficult people (rob bell refers to them as “human sandpaper”). that’s simply apart of the job. it’s fine and dandy (i like that phrase) to vent every now and then but goodness don’t set your personality around doing that all the time. you’re talking about the bride of CHRIST after all. amazing things happen within the bride of CHRIST and ministers get paid (sometimes at least :)) to have a front row seat for much of it. what could be better than that. we get to see CHRIST forgive and renew the bitter, mean, vengeful, backstabbing, adulterous, stupid, sinning, gossiping, fallen people within HIS. sometimes HE has to forgive and renew us allot of times before we understand how new HE has made us and before we see how much HE loves us.

kind of ironic that i just vented about people venting. 🙂

btw, don’t get me wrong about yaconelli, i loved him. he was a much needed voice within the body of CHRIST. it’s just that it bugs me when “young en’s” try to sound like yac. he had earned the right to speak like that. he had been through years of ministry and hardship and he was definitely still very much in love with the bride of CHRIST. it merely seems stupid to me for 20-somethings to try and talk like that. wait until you’ve “earned (your) spurs” through more than 4 years of ministry before you try to talk like a 30 year veteran. i’m not there yet and thus i’m still learning how this whole thing works.

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politics in the 21st century

adam terrell for presidentforget about the battle for president. don’t worry about whether bush or kerry will win. that political battle is meaningless. the real political campaign for the year finished yesterday. it was the race for president of the parkview baptist elementary school. i know this because adam, my oldest son, was one of the candidates. i was his graphic designer.:)

there were 10 kids running for president so adam wanted everything that he did to stand out. therefore, we decided to use allot of humor during his campaign. the funniest thing we could think of was defacing mount rushmore with adam’s face. we decided to replace thomas jefferson (after all what did jefferson ever do? the whole declaration of independence thing is over rated) so i cut out a picture of adam’s mug and placed it over jefferson’s face. now i know some of your budding andy warhols could do much better than i did. you could probably take adam’s face and make it match up perfectly with mount rushmore. yet, i felt pretty good with my attempt. after all for the elementary presidential race it was “top-notch”. i was sure his poster would win the campaign for him.

i was so sure of the win that i began to map out adam’s life for him. after all, the elementary school presidency is just the beginning. this election would start adam’s political career and soon i would have a representative, senator, and/or president for a son. one day i would be known as the father of the president of the united states. everyone knows that its the father of the president who determines how good of a president he is (that was clinton’s problem – his dad was missing in action). i was on my way because of my political son.

of course, we do live in louisiana so i should have expected the election to be crooked. i’m not sure how but i know that the whole thing was rigged. some girl won the election. those feminists ruined everything. they always do. everyone knew that adam’s posters were better. now i have to figure out another way to live vicariously through my kids.

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ministry oxymoron

the past three weeks have been confusing ministry-wise. i have experienced some of the most affirming ministry compliments i have ever received and yet at the same time i have been as dissatisfied with ministry as i have ever been.

the “pats on the back” have poured in over the past three weeks. i’ve had parents and students complimenting what we have been doing within the student ministry of parkview. these compliments haven’t just been “oh, my kids had allot of fun at that event” or “my kids really laughed allot the other night.” no, people have mentioned specific things that have brought them closer to GOD. in fact, one student even went to the point of making a powerpoint presentation complimenting me and giving it to me on a cd-rom. every time i’ve turned around someone has complimented what we’ve been doing.

the problem is that i feel completely dissatisfied with where i am at right now because none of the other ministerial staff at the church seem to recognize the youth ministry as important. i seem to always be getting the “i remember when i was a ‘youth director'” phrase. the problem is that i’m not a youth director. i’m not just using the youth minister position as a way to “move up” to another position. this is what GOD has called me to. it is the most important ministry in the world and i wish that some members of the church staff would recognize its value. i love these people. i think the world of them. yet, i’m tired of what i see as a lack of respect. i’m sure that i’m probably just misreading everyone, but it is how i feel right now.

i wish these feelings would hurry up and fade because its hard to remember the “pats on the back” when i’m feeling so defeated.

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joyful noise?

i realized something yesterday – I AM A REALLY BAD SINGER!

wednesday night riley, who normally leads the singing, was stuck in traffic and unable to be at the view. the problem is that i really can’t stand the thought of postponing a worship service based on a person. therefore, i decided that if riley was still stuck in traffic by the time we started i would go ahead and lead the singing part of our worship. i figured i lead you guys in singing on sunday mornings, mission trips, and such so i couldn’t be that bad. at least, that’s what i thought. so armed with my six-string and praying that riley would show before we actually started singing i went up on stage and lead y’all in prayer. while y’all prayed over how great the summer had been i was praying “please LORD let riley walk in now.” i’m not sure i have ever prayed so desperately in my life. i prayed so hard sweat poured down my face.

of course, i forgot that my GOD likes to push us out of our comfort zones and HE has a great sense of humor. apparently GOD knew i needed to be pushed into something i wasn’t ready for and i guess HE needed a good laughed too because riley didn’t walk in at that moment.

nope! i was stuck on the stage with john and blaine and we all knew that i was the one stuck singing. so i started singing hoping that i wouldn’t be too bad.

i’ve never actually listened to a recording of myself singing. i listen to my messages all the time because it’s a great way to improve the way you speak. thursday morning i listened to myself sing for the very first time and now i have only one question … “why hasn’t anyone ever told me how bad i sound?

i never actually thought that i was a good signer but i did at least think i was normally decent. i’m not! i’m extremely bad. if we had a worst singer competition i would rate up there with william hung. i’m surpirsed that there weren’t dogs outside the student center howling while i was singing.

why hasn’t anybody ever told me this before. i mean really. i lead some of you in singing every sunday morning at sunday school and on tons of retreats and mission trips. i’ve been leading youth and adults in singing for around 9 years. yet, none of your had enough decency to tell me “robert, you’re pretty bad at singing.”

i’m okay with sounding bad around our normal people but we have lots of guests with us each sunday morning at sunday school. i don’t want all of our guests thinking that we consider my voice good. i blame you people for any guests we have that have left with permanent hearing damage because of my voice.

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i didn’t mean to say that

i get the privilege of doing hospital visits every tuesday. i know some ministers don’t like visiting the hospital every week but i truly love it. the coolest things always seem to happen when you go to the hospital. you walk in at the right moment just when someone really needs another person there, or you get to remind people who feel all alone that they have a bunch of others who care for them, or you get to see how GOD brings HIS comfort and peace to a room full of chaos, or you simply get to eat the lunch that nobody else wants. sometimes they’re simple but profound joys. usually they’re just plain profound.

today i went to visit a church member who has recently had a stroke. he is recovering quite well but seems to have one problem that may be with him for awhile. we all have going on in our heads what some people refer to as an “internal dialog.” you talk to yourself in your head saying things that you actually do think but would never want to say to the people you are talking with. we hide these things because the people we are talking with are more important than actually saying these things. these are just fleeting thoughts and they don’t deserve the light of day. well this church member has at least temporarily lost his internal dialog and everything he wouldn’t normally say comes out instead staying inside.

so while i’m there asking how he is doing and telling him how things are going at church and with the people we both know and love he is busy blurting out what ever he is thinking. everything he says has to do with our conversation, they’re just not statements that you would normally expect to hear. he asked me about seafood and we talked about it for a little while. during the seafood conversation he blurted out that he has never liked his wife’s fish, in fact he thinks it smells funny. of course, she was right there beside me and heard it all. he then started asking me how things with the youth were going. when i started to tell him about what was happening with the youth he decided to ask me how old i was. i told him i was thirty-six. he responded by saying “you’re really old for a youth minister aren’t you?” when i responded with “yep” he then added “you better get out because you’re really old.”

personally i thought it was hilarious. he would tell me time and time again “i’m not trying to be mean or anything. some people say i’m rash but i just call ’em like i see ’em.”

of course, his wife was embarrassed at first. she’s used to this but she doesn’t liek for new people to go through it. i reassured her that pam, my wife, works with head injuries all the time and therefore i understand that this was something he couldn’t help. it was very cool to see her trying to protect him. she loves him in spite of the fact that he doesn’t like the way she cooks fish. she loves him for who he used to be and loves him for who he is now. other people may be put off by his crass remarks but she knows who he really is. she can tell when it is him talking and when it is merely the stroke saying things.