nothing is for free

awhile back i feel in love with albert’s famous salsa. it’s a salsa that drives me absolutely wild. i can eat the entire quarter jar of salsa in one sitting with a bag of chips. since, i love the product and my mom always taught me that you should tell someone when they do something well, i decided to email jananna foods (the company that makes albert’s famous salsa) and tell them how fine they salsa is. i also figured that the executives at jananna foods would be so impressed by my effort that something good would happen. maybe they would pick me to be their next product salesman. you could see my face on advertisements talking about how albert’s famous salsa was the energy behind everything good that happens in my life. because of albert’s famous salsa my teeth are straighter, my kids get along with me better, and my wife now thinks i’m better looking.

i figured that even if they didn’t offer me a job as their male spokes model i would at least get a few free coupons or something for the effort of tracking down this small regional company and complimenting them on their salsa. that’s the way it’s supposed to happen. you compliment their product and they respond by giving you free stuff and asking you to recommend them to their friends. any free stuff would do – a free hat, a cool salsa t-shirt, or just a case of free salsa. so i’ve been checking my email regularly looking for their response to my email asking for my address so they can ship my free stuff to me.

i received the followinng email today:

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