Month: November 2003

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i need a shower

i was off work today and had plans to paint a little in the homestead today. painting requires my painting clothes. it’s not the best looking combination of clothes. i’m wearing very baggy jean shorts with a hole in the butt, a completely worn out t-shirt, and cheap flip flops. you combine this with the fact that i didn’t shave or comb my hair and i’ve been quite a sight all day.

don’t get me wrong, i very rarely “primp up.” being “put together” is just something that doesn’t really matter to me. i like being myself and having a very casual, uninterested style (if you can call that a style). the difference between today and any normal day was that today my looks would give small children nightmares. of course, this wasn’t a problem for the majority of the day because i was in the house. it became a problem tonight when i decided to go get a movie for pam and i. i forgot to make myself look respectable before going out. so i took my flip flops an myself to blockbuster.

when i got there it took me awhile to realize that every time i moved to an isle everyone on that isle slowly moved away. i was oblivious to this while i was looking for my movie, but once i found the film became to obvious to me. i was making people uncomfortable because you should simply never trust a guy with a hole in his butt and flip flops when a cold front is coming through. i think this is a law of nature or something.

i figured since i was obviously making people uncomfortable i should have a little fun with it. so i started walking close to people in the “new releases” isle. most of the “new releases” stink anyway so i thought i would just chase them to the older movies. make them think about something good to watch rather than just grabbing a new flick that is probably a cenimatic disaster anyway. if you had been in the store you would have seen me slowly, but intentionally “chasing” people around the “new relases” isle. when i tired of this i decided to up the ante a little. i stood in the highest traffic isle and drooled. i didn’t act like i was mentally retarded or anything because i think that’s wrong. you can’t help being mentally retarded so it’s not humorous. stupid people who don’t have to be stupid are funny, but the handicapped are cool because they have to overcome allot. so i stood there like a normal guy, who was dressed very shabby and drooled. at least i thought it was fun.

i think the salespeople/chasiers at blockbuster were glad to see me go because when i was checking out the cashier “comped” the goobers that i was buying and the late fee that i had on my account. free snacks are a sure fire way to get me to live you’re store.

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where the brown fungus grows

it’s been one week since the “battle of gettysburg” between the terrell family and the yellow jacket/azela bush axis of power and an unusal development has occurred. this morning as i was walking out i looked into the flower bed, the land of my victory, and noticed that something new had appeared there. in the area that had been fertilized with the decomposing bodies of both young and old yellow jackets a foot wide flat mushroom has grown. it’s very close to the actual nest of the enemy which i had defeated. apparently the bush has tried once again to win the war by allowing it’s rotting root system to become the fodder for the fungus of memorial for the brave and fierce yellow jackets which fought for it. it reminds me of “where the red fern grows” and the red fern that grew to memorialize the two wonderful dogs that die in the story. the bush’s love for the yellow jackets is admirable.

of course, as soon as i get home i’m going to go rip the mushrooms up and probably spit on it too. down with azelas and down with yellow jackets.

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the red or the blue pill?

i’ve got a choice to make that is very important. every now and then you run into a situation where you have to decide if you are going forward or not. to go forward takes you into the unkown which can be good but can also lead to walking off a cliff and falling onto lots of jagged rocks and moss and bird poop as well as the whole nauseated stomach that would happen from the fall before you died on the rocks, moss, and bird poop. to decide to stand still though could keep from you from experiencing what the whole trip is about.

i’ve come to one of those decisions now and i’m having a hard take deciding what to do. you see, i have to decide if i’m going to watch “matrix: revolution” or not. i love “the matrix”. i think it is one of the best movies of all times. it is action packed and at the same time a commentary on life and out view of reality. it is deep in meaning and goes about explaining that meaning in an entertaining manner. it’s a great movie.

“matrix: reloaded” on the other hand is a piece of junk. i hated it. it came across as “preachy” and full of itself. i didn’t even think the graphics were that good. i was so excited about seeing it, but after i saw it i wished they had just left well enough alone and never made a sequel to “the matrix”.

now i face the problem of “revolution”. will this movie make the second one seem at least decent? or will it just continue to mess up what was a perfect movie by itself. i was really mad after watching “reloaded” and i don’t want to have that experience again. so the choice is to skip “revolution” and just try to watch “the matrix” as though they never made the other two, or step forward and watch “revolution” and hope that it makes up for the mistakes of “reloaded”.

i know this probably seemd pretty stupid to most of ya’ll but this is a really big decision for me. sometimes i wish life wasn’t so complicated.

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just a normal day

nothing very exciting happen today and i don’t really have anything very unusal to discuss in the blog.

i did take hero, my dog, with me to church today to help me do a chapel for the preschool at church. you just can’t go wrong with bringing a dog to a lesson for a bunch of 3 to 5 year olds. i’m not sure if they will remember much of what i said a week from now but they will remember hero. it’s kind of funny, even the adults who saw him started smiling and talking to him. i think it’s the fact that people just don’t expect to see a dog inside a church that gets them smiling. it’s kind of like bringing them a surprise. everybody likes surprises – well except for the surprise of a policeman turning on his lights behind you – but other surprises people like. i did try to encourage hero to go and “mark” jim wallce’s desk (our minister ofeducation) but he didn’t seem to want to do it. i thought it would have been funny….”hey, what’s this wet stuff on my desk? and why does it smell like amonia in here?” alas, it is not to be.

i spent the evening setting up for “the view” tomorrow. we try to do something slightly different each week or so. tomorrow we are doing “worship in the round”. this means that we sit everyone in a circle with the band in the center, rather than a traditional band in front set up. it involves alot of video and powerpoint, which takes a while to set-up, thus the late night for me. of course, we’re changing the “wroship in the round” concept up a little by going full band LOUD rather than the soft contemplative music that most people think of with “worship in the round”. i do wonder why we call it “worship in the round”. why not call regular worship “worship in the rectangle?” or set up a “worship in the trinagle?” maybe i could get heor involved andwe could have “worship around the dog.”

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the taste of the south

i’m boiling peanuts tonight. 🙂

here’s how you can join in the fun.

ALABAMA BOILED PEANUTS RECIPE – FROM WWW.COOKS.COM

2 lbs. fresh raw peanuts in shells (available in many supermarkets in the fall)
3 tbsp. salt or to taste (robert here – i actually use more salt and i’m making 3 lbs not 2 – i’m placing in a little over a 1/3 of a cup of salt)

Wash peanuts well. Place them in a huge cast iron pot or the biggest pot you have. Pour in enough water to almost fill the pot. Add salt and stir.

Cover and cook over high heat. Bring to a rolling boil. Reduce heat only enough to prevent water from boiling over. Add water as needed to keep peanuts under water. When adding water, increase heat to high until peanuts are boiling again.

Boil for 3 1/2 to 4 hours. Test to see if they are done by spooning out a peanut, cooling briefly, opening the shell and biting into one. Boiled peanuts should be soft, not crunchy or hard.

Drain, rinse well and cool slightly before serving. Store in plastic bags in refrigerator or freezer.

now go and do likewise. 🙂 real men boil peanuts.

on a different note, i found out today that mike yaconelli died thursday, october 30 due to injuries received during a automobile accident. though i only had the opportunity to meet him twice his writing and thought had a huge influence upon the manner in which i view ministry. yaconelli is truly a man after GOD’s own heart. his zeal for GOD was sometimes scrary for people (myself included in that), but always challenging. though i know he is presently having a blast in the presence of his CREATOR, he will still be missed around here.

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the battle for gettysburg

thursday had a grey, somber sky which foretold a day of carnage and pain. this was the day that either the terrells or the bush/yellow jacket axis would win the war. i approached the battle with a slight amount of fear. after all , i had twice suffered the pain of stings for broaching on the bush’s territory. yet, this was land that must be reclaimed for the terrell household. i decided i would start my attack slowly and hold back on some of my ammunition of raid. i hit the bush with a pole trying to confuse it and then immediately start an insecticide carpet bombing to generally soak the area with anti-yellow jacket poison. alas, my enemies were to smart for this tactic and stayed in their cover. i knew i would have to take a more aggressive approach and therefore i went and stepped all around the enemy azalea bush. immediately, the stinging fighters flew out for the bush’s defense. i ran in fear and then turned to spray the onslaught of insects. they fell quickly as the poison entered their systems.

it was at this point that i felt a good taunting was in order. i insulted the insect’s mothers. i made fun of the bush. i referred to them as the rejects and losers of the natural world. it was an impressive display of ridicule. sadly it did not achieve it’s desired result. instead of breaking the spirit of the insect tormentors, it merely egged them on and they began their second attack. this time their anger had been stirred and they came at me with a vengeance. it was at this point that i ran tail tucked between my legs inside my house.

i was dejected. i knew that i would never be able to defeat this bush/yellow jacket union. i was ready to give up. in fact, i would have given up if it had not been for noah, my youngest son. the boys knew i had been engaged in battle. they had in fact been standing at the window watching as the engagement took place. noah asked why i had come inside. i told noah i had come in for safety. his response, “you have to face your fears, dad. now go outside and face those fears.” (i promise he said this).

well, i couldn’t let my son down. i ran to my closest and wrapped myself from head to toe in clothes. i was now armored and ready to face these psycho insects. i went to the bush and stomped all over it laughing and calling it names the entire time. i turned around and started spraying every flying thing i could see. they went down quick, but for every one i killed another one came out of the hole. i went through one can and reached into my jacket pocket for the second can. by now i had finally discovered where the entrance of the nest was. i began to spray the entrance with the precious poison found within my can of raid. it had it’s desired effect and lowered all the dreaded insects.

with it’s defenses down the bush went quickly. the final stage of the battle was done in less than a minute. 5928 gettysburg is now safe from the dangerous yellow jackets and their benefactor the azalea bush.

viva la gettysburg!