there’s a hole in my head

montana, my basset hound, hates straws. i learned this the hard way. awhile back i was drinking through a straw and montana saw it. the mere sight threw her into a rampage and she walked over and head butted the bottom of my cup. of course, she made the whole thing look like an accident but i know the real true – montana hates straws and thus she attacked. thankfully the straw made it through the attack. unfortunately, montana’s attack rammed the straw into the the inside of my top lip. thus i now had a cut on the inside of my front lip. if you know anything about cuts in the mouth then you know that a cut in the mouth can turn into one of the worse injuries a human can receive … a canker sore. that’s what happened too. i now have a monstrous canker sore on the inside of my top lip. it’s right on my two front teeth and it’s killing me. i hate canker sores.

when i was in college i once had a canker sore that was really killing me. i complained about it and a friend told me that he had a sure fire way to cure a canker sore. according to my friend all you had to do to get rid of a canker sore was pack the sore with table salt. he said that the salt “burned out” the bacteria that caused the canker sore. so that night i packed the sore with table salt. this was not one of the prouder moments in my life because packing a canker sore with table salt is not a very smart idea. it was the worse pain i have ever experienced and the sore was actually bigger in the morning. i told my friend about it not working and all he did was laugh. he laughed really hard over the whole thing. i don’t think i ever talked to that friend again.