this is the completion of the top ten list started here. these are the top five reasons why marko should link to one of my posts like he did with j.t.’s (blessed be his name) post.
5. it will solve the bcs/college football playoffs debate. for years college football fans have been arguing about whether the bcs was worth squat or not. many thought they were longing for a play off system, while others have thought a play off system would ruin what is best about ncaa football. if marko merely posts a link to one of my posts the world will suddenly be enlightened with the answer of what is best for college football and this argument will be settled. college football harmony is within your hands marko.
4. my kids will respect me and hope to grow up to be like me. marko, you’re a dad. you know how important it is to live your life in a manner that your kids can respect you. yesterday my youngest said to me, “dad, i would be so proud of you if someone like marko would link to one of your posts” and then my oldest son added, “and if nobody links to your blog then i’m going to view you as a failure and choose mike tyson as the role model for life.” marko, you can’t let this happen. i can’t lose my children down that path and the world definitely doesn’t need another mike tyson.
3. your kids will respect you and hope to grow up to be like you. lifting up the weak is a sign of a follower of GOD and if you link to one of my blog posts you will be lifting up a weak blogger (a blogger too weak to write like j.t. – blessed be his name). you’re kids will see this action (in fact, i will gladly send you a certificate documenting the event of you linking to one of my blog posts) and praise your name as the wonderful human being that you are. realistically it would not surprise me at all if you daughter and son suddenly started introducing you to their friends as “my great and caring dad who is exactly like i want to be.” this, of course, would make you the envy of all the other parents in the neighborhood and then you could start your new “side” career as a lecturer within the field of parenting. you’re first book could be titled, “link to robert’s blog and win your child’s respect forever.” i’m sure it would be a bestseller. see, this works out as not only a wonderful parenting strategy for you but also your first step into your new profession. let’s face it, nobody in their right mind would actually desire to work with ys (though if you need a representative in central wisconsin i would be open to a conversation). by linking to one of my posts you win the admiration of your kids and begin your journey of creating the next focus on the family. you will then be able to not only be a voice of power within the religious right but you will also be able to set yourself up as a political pundit and direct people in all areas of their lives. marko, this is the way that CHRISTianity is supposed to work. right?
2. it could save your life from a crazed, stalking fan. now, surely i don’t know if you have any crazed stalking fans but if you’ve seen “misery” then you surely know what type of danger these people represent. it couldn’t hurt for one of them to see you post a link to one of my posts and thereby realize that you are “a man of the people” rather than an ivory tower person. marko, these people are dangerous and you should do everything you can to keep them from being angry with you. i’m only looking out for what’s best for you. btw, i’m not the biggest fan of the blue shirt you wore yesterday. you look much better in the green one you wore two weeks ago when you were drinking coffee … at least that’s what i heard … and i know merely through hearsay and not personal knowledge … but you should wear the green one more often.
and the number 1 reason why marko should post a link to one of my blog posts is …
because i’m asking nicely. really marko, pretty please with sugar on top and all that other stuff. i’m even typing this with a smile on my face. honest, you can ask the person beside me at emy j’s (a local coffee/ice cream shop). i’m grinning like an idiot.
so those are my reasons why you, marko, should post a link to my blog or a post of mine. yes it would be easier if i could write something as great as j.t. (blessed be his name) but we both know that’s not going to happen. after all, j.t. (blessed be his name) is a youth ministry god (and a really decent guy too).
bonus reason – i could convince the people that are planting a church with me to name the church after you. instead of “tapestry” (technically it’s “stevens point tapestry church” which will be great 10 years form now when a one word name for a church sounds stupid) i think i could convince them to call the church “marko” (technically “stevens point marko church” which will be great 10 years from now when a one word name for a church sounds stupid). i think it would be a huge draw. after all people really just come to a church for a cool name, music, and marketing. this works for both of us. heck if you preferred we could even use “oestreicher.” central wisconsin is polish/german/scandinavian territory so most of the people around here would probably be able to pronounce your last name with ease. your name would be immortalized without even having to make a major monetary contribution to a university.