pride & prejudice

i am very prideful. for me much of that pride comes in the form of wanting to do things at a pretty high level. i want the things that i do to stand out as original, creative, and quality. i believe that allot of people don’t see this because i try to do the opposite of what my prideful self wants. my prideful self wants to do things that i receive the credit for so instead i try to be laid back and pass credit towards other people. this doesn’t always work and therefore allot of times i do things for my glory rather than for GOD’s glory.

i tell you the above to set up the following – i had a very prideful moment tonight. i try to walk montana, our basset hound, every other day or so. i love walking montana. it is a very peaceful time during which i can either just enjoy the quiet or take my ipod and listen to music or messages. tonight i decided to listen to a rob bell message on community when my prideful moment happened. during the intro bell talked about what he had discussed during his previous two week’s messages. apparently during the previous weeks before this message on community bell had talked about about the concept of “journey” within the scripture. i hadn’t heard the message but all i was concerned about was how similar his message was to my message from this past week at “the view.” all i was worried about was that anyone hearing my message might think that i stole ideas from rob bell.

how stupid is this? first, rob bell is an amazing speaker. i have taken ideas from him before (though i ask permission via email first and give him credit during the message when i do). if i had known that he was speaking on journeying before i spoke on it you better believe that i would have listened to the message and gladly used ideas if they fit. second, the only reason i was worried about rob bell messages was that i simply didn’t want anyone who heard my message thinking that i had not come up with the message myself. it was entirely about me wanting the credit from what others considered a good idea. this is pathetic. finally, i continually forget that everything is dependent upon the HOLY SPIRIT and not me. it’s not my skill (of which there isn’t much) that reaches people and brings healing. nope it’s the power of GOD. this is why sometimes messages that I think are great don’t seem to move anyone and other times messages that i thought completely sucked end up with people running towards GOD. HE does all the work i am merely a very poor instrument and therefore HE should get all the credit.

so part of my healing is telling y’all how prideful i am.

my name is robert and i am a very screwed up human being.

it’ll make your tongue stand up and slap your brain silly

friday is my day off which means that i stay home, wash clothes, watch another dvd of the third series of 24 (i only have two more discs left to watch before i’m completely caught up) and do some reading. i had accomplished the first three of these tasks and was about to start reading when i received an email from a friend concerning “emergent church” thought. so i wrote my thoughts down concerning his question, asked him what he thought, and then decided that i felt a little hungry (lunch for me today was a weird combination of peanut butter sandwiches and chips & salsa). i went to search through the kitchen for something snack-able only to realize that we are at the end of the grocery cycle and therefore all the good snack food is long sense history being consumed by the two little snack garbage disposals that live in my house. yet i was desperate and i went on a search of the cabinets hoping to find some small tidbit to satisfy my craving.

that’s when i found a bag of lowrey’s microwave pork rinds. i was a little worried because sticking chunks of dried pig skin into a microwave seems chancey to me. you just never no how it’s going to turn out when you do something like that. so i placed the bag (which looks like a bag of microwave popcorn) into the microwave and set the timer. after three minutes i opened the bag and decided to take the risk of eating the microwave pork rind.

my risk taking behavior was rewarded by the wonderful taste of warm pork rinds. oh boy, were they good. it’s really odd to think that fried pig skin could taste so good.