you should kill alan

today i found out that alan wrote my real cell phone number in a bathroom stall. now you may be asking yourself, “how did robert find out this information?” well the answer to that question is that i received an anonymous phone call from some strange guy who had seen my number written on the bathroom stall at barnes and noble and decided to give me a call.

next time you see alan please kill him or just email him and tell him he’s a jerk. 🙂

the greatest practical joke ever

the following story was done to me which should make it not funny (because i’m such a nice guy and no one should ever do anything bad to such a nice guy as me) but it’s so good that even i think it is funny. therefore, for you’re amusement i will tell how i have been abused.

i received an anonymous homosexual proposition today on my cell phone. this afternoon i received a phone call with a “724” area code. my usual habit is to ignore phone numbers that i don’t know and wait for a message. so i ignored this phone call until the message arrived. the message said, “i found your number at barnes and noble in the bathroom and was wondering if you would like to get together tonight i’ll be staying at the marriott and if you are interested in getting together tonight call and let me know.” it sounded homosexual to me and i asked a few other people what they thought about a random guy calling and asking me to get together. they all agreed that it sounded gay.

of course, the real question was how did my cell phone number get in the bathroom stall of the barnes and noble book store?

that’s when i remembered having a discussion with alan a few months ago about phone numbers in bathrooms. i need to admit something here. i’m fascinated by “bathroom poetry.” i can’t help it. when i see something written on the stall i just want to read it. i was discussing this with alan a few months ago and we both started wondering if anyone actually ever calls the numbers that are so often a part of the writings found on bathroom stalls. i suggested then that it all might just be a practical joke that friends pull on each other. we both thought that would be a great joke – leaving your friend’s real phone number on the bathroom stall for people to call. apparently, alan thought it was too good of a joke to pass up because he went to barnes and noble and wrote my cell phone number on the bathroom stall.

alan admitted to the whole thing tonight when i confronted him on it. the problem is that i think the whole thing is hilarious. i mean it’s really hard to get mad when i think it’s simply a great practical joke. of course, i’m going to write his phone number in the bathroom of a sleazy truck stop now but i still admire his vigor in getting the first attack.